**[her bittersweet melodrama]**

A message to someone out there:

I'm sorry if I bothered you. I just want to know the truth. You see, I was hurt with what you did to me. It even destroyed our friendship. I then, realized that you aren't the person I used to know before. You told me you aren't angry, but I am still not convinced. How come you can't answer my question? Yeah right, you're serious, but I think the real truth lies at the back of your head. C'mon, anyway, you're wise enough to say it.

As I promised, here are some of my favorite lines of the songs I wanted to share with you (especially to that someone out there):

Life After You by Brie Larson: ...I thought I was gonna die, turns out I survived/Hey, didn't need you anyway/I get better everyday/Don't you think it's funny how it all works out?/Yeah, I finally got a life/I go on every night/Now I've got so much to say, so much to do/This is life, life after you/...I don't have to say I'm sorry/...I don't think I've ever felt so free/I guess I should be thanking you for this brand new attitude...//

Gone by Kelly Clarkson: Your eyes they sparkle/That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain/You washed away the best of me/You don't care/You know you did it/I'm gone/To find someone to live for in this world/There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight/Just a bridge that I gotta burn/You're wrong/If you think that you can walk right through my door.../...I am breaking that habit today/...There is nothing you can say/Sorry doesn't cut it, babe/Take the hint and walk away/'Coz I'm gone/Doesn't matter what you do/It's what you did that's hurting you/All I needed was the truth/Now, I'm gone//

There they are, folks...

Cheska's thoughts at 9:00 PM

Here's good news for you, Gundam Seed Destiny fans (and that includes me):

Aftermath News:
Hobby Mags announced a special program consisiting of all 50 episodes of GSD plus a new "after episode", "The Chosen Future", that will be broadcasted on Christmas.

It will air past Christmas. The new after episode will reveal the path of Shin, Kira, and Athrun after the battle.
Schedules:
TBS 1:50am-2:45am (Christmas)
MBS 12:30am-1:25am
Source: Gunolta

I can't wait to see it! What will happen to Shin and Luna? Will he still remember his sweet Stellar? What about Kira and Lacus? Finally, what will become of Cagalli and Athrun's relationship? Will they still meet at the altar after all that had happened? So many questions!!!

I had finally watched HP4!!! Gosh, Cedric's so handsome!!! Draco only has a few scenes (I don't like the thought of that). Cho isn't that pretty compared to Hermione when she went to the Yule Ball. The movie has a lot of things to laugh about. I just love it!!! By the way, too bad Cedric died...I love the way he acts.

That's all...

Cheska's thoughts at 9:57 PM

This week may not be the best I've ever had, but it turned out to be quite alright. Any way, here are the highlights...

This week's Tuesday was a blast! At the Morning Activities, Ms. Vesuntia announced the Second Quarter's Honor Students. When they were about to announce the students with the respected awards, I felt pretty relaxed because I know I'm going to receive the Best in Penmanship award again. Then, it was a surprise for me when Johanna was called instead of me. So, I thought I will bring home only one merit card. That's what I thought until I was called to receive the First in Deportment award! I was really happy because it was my first time to receive the award for leadership since I started schooling at SCS. At the same time, I also received the Outstanding Student award. Yeah!

Oh, by the way, I don't know when was this but here it goes. We were given a sermon from our AP teacher because our class was so noisy (as usual...). He then, asked us who our inspirations were. When he asked me, I flashed him a smile. Suddenly, my classmates noticed that I was suddenly blushing. When I heard the question, the first person that flashed in my mind was of course Jim. Yeah, there were my parents, Bea, and my best friends; however, he was the first person who came into my mind that's why I blushed. When my teacher asked me again, I simply answered, "Someone...special." Hahaha...nakakakilig talaga!

Wednesday and Thursday was umm...not that interesting so, no news to share.

There were ups and downs on this day. I was happy that among the Outstanding Students in both campuses (Second Year only), I placed 5th in the ranking (hmm...not bad right? Hahaha...). At the end of the day, my spirits died down when I felt that I failed as a the leader of our group. Our group presented the worst, and I was so angry. But, I only have one thing to say, I did my job well and I did the best I could to become the best leader I can be.

I guess this is enough. Oh, before I forget, I supposed to post something last Saturday, but there were some complications. I think I'm going to post it tomorrow or on Sunday. No offense on the material, but I just feel like sharing a couple of them to all of you especially to someone out there.

Cheska's thoughts at 9:45 PM

I have to admit it -- it was indeed a crazy day. Here is one of the crazy moments:

Lea: Sino na nga ba yung inaasar sayo? Ah, si Jim! Uy...Jim!

Me: (just smiling at her, but deep inside, kinikilig ako! hahaha..)

(after a few minutes, I whispered to Lea that I find Jim really cute)

Lea: (surprised) Ano ba yan, Cheska?! Ang papanget ng mga crush mo!

Me: (laughing a little bit) Cute naman siya ah?!

Lea: Hindi! Hindi siya cute!

Me: Cute siya!

(I think you know what's going on..)

(then, we hear our other classmates teasing one of our classmates, Luis)

Lea: 5'9 ka ba talaga, Luis?! Eh, mukhang mas matangkad si Jim kaysa sayo, eh.

JM: Si Jim? Yun ba yung malaki ang ilong?

(Kathy and Lea shifted their glances at me)

Me: (at the time I heard that, I was laughing my head off! hahaha.. but I have to admit it Jim has quite a big nose, but he's still cute to me..bwahahaha..)

There was so much more, but this is my favorite for this day. Bye!

PS:
- I had fun in the tutoring a while ago! In fact, I'm already starting to LIKE Math already.

Cheska's thoughts at 9:30 PM

It took me quite long before I could post again. My schedule was really hectic with a lot of assignments and projects.

Sunday [11.13.05] -- I didn't know what happened. He suddenly changed. He wasn't the one I used to know before. My feelings were hurt after that incident. But, I'm still holding my head up high. It seems that this is a little game, my friend. Well, I'll play along with you. Remember, you don't know who I really am. You don't know who you're messing with.
(On the other hand, my AP project became more creative than I've ever imagined because of my anger for someone. Ok, here's tip for students doing their projects: Get angry first, it somewhat brings your creativity out.)

Monday [11.14.05] -- I had already started taking action. I can't wait for the result.

Tuesday [11.15.05] -- Last night, I just realized that I'm really going to miss that certain guy I laid eyes on when we went to the other campus. I'm going to miss the times when I always pretend that I wasn't looking at him. I remembered one of my favorite moments when I was there. I, Claire (She knows me but I already forgot all about her. I only remembered when she mentioned that she was also one of the contestants in Ms. Saint Claire when I was one too.), and Pat were pumping balloons. It was quite a challenge for us because the yellow ones were too small. Across my side, I could clearly see him sitting on top of the bookshelf near an open window. Because of my temptation to look at him secretly, I pretended to look at the window, but in fact, I was really looking at him! Hahaha...talking about pa-simple. I wil also miss the times when I always see him sitting alone. He is so quiet. All he just does is lean his head against the wall and observe the people around him. He's tall, handsome, and a great athlete. He always keeps a straight face on that made me wonder if he ever smiles. Until...I finally saw that smile. Ever since I saw that captivating smile on his glowing face, I liked him even more. Alright, I admit it. He's already my crush. My ONE and ONLY crush for NOW. Then, reality struck me. I won't be able to see him for a long time because he's there and I'm stuck here. Just then, I read the Tentative schedule of our school this coming November and December. I suddenly felt excitement rushing through my veins when I read that there will be a High School Dance on December 19! I know it's still far, but all I have to do is to have a little patience, right? I will able to see him again!

Wednesday [11.16.05] -- I'm slowly starting to get Factoring right. I can do this! Even though my score is still low, but my answers are not far from the real answer. I'm getting it! I'm starting to get the concept of Algebra!

Well, that's it. Bye!

Cheska's thoughts at 9:16 PM

We're the SOPHIES,
We're the best,
...Among the rest

A while ago, we had our High School Cheering Competition. But, before the event began, heavy drops of rain poured from the sky. With all my heart, I prayed to God to give us a fine weather. Then, it was answered.

We were second to perform. Being a member of a squad, I was actually screaming my lungs out already. I also smiled to the audience because I was one of the frontliners. Frankly, I felt that I was the only one smiling. Anyway, I don't care. I want to enjoy every moment of my High School life. I don't want to be like other people who are bored to death and hate their HS years forever.

Unfortunately, we didn't win. The Freshmen won, which was pretty obvious. I've been thinking -- they really have a great possibility that they'll win "Best Batch" at the end of the School Year. Well, FY-Faith won in the Convocation. But, we, Somphomores won't give up. We still have our chance to show what we've got...in the Family Day and Journ Congress (I want to be the Champion in the Journ Congress, so I'll really do my best in the category I'm good at).

Don't worry, Sophies. Anyway, according to my mom, we're the "Best Squad" for her..n_n..

SOPHIES RULEZZZ!!!

Cheska's thoughts at 8:21 PM

I don't really know the reason behind these smiles...

I feel so tired, sweaty (yuck!), and smelly (gross!) the whole day. I slowly getting conscious of myself as each minute passed by. But, behind all these, I was smiling.

I think it's because I find a certain guy cute (this is different from a crush, ok?). Fine...call me two-timer (for those who know who my crush really is), but I just find him different among his classmates. He's ok (that's what I think). He's really cute, but not the typical pretty-boy look. More of umm...exotic or something (as long as the word's not exotic). This isn't the only time I notice how cute this guy is. I've been interested in him since the Intramurals..n_n..

Alright...enough of the babbling. Along with these smiles-up-to-my-ears, I'm also feeling flattered. If you think I'm going to talk about it...guess again!!!

Jokes and teasings are half-true right? Just answer..n_n..

Cheska's thoughts at 9:58 PM

After the rain comes the glorious sunlight...

Two days ago, I felt like a wreck. Later that night, I cried my heart out to the Lord, because I wanted to disappear. However, yesterday changed everything.

My mother told me that the reason why it happened is because God was happy. You see, I cried out to Him about what I feel. So, to cheer me up, he gave me an unexpected yet wonderful gift.

The reason why I cried is because I had finally realized my mistakes. I wanted to make things right again. I don't want the same mistakes happen all over again. To tell you the truth, my new book (Saving My First Kiss by Lisa Velthouse) was the one that brought me to my senses. I now wanted to live a life where I wouldn't cry anymore, because of my mistakes..n_n..

Here's a song that I want to share with you. It somehow described what I felt yesterday.

I'M ALIVE by Celine Dion

I get wings to fly... Oh-oh
I'm alive... yeah.. yeah

When you call for me
When I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly...
I feel that I'm alive

When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that
I'm alive
Ohh... Ooh.... alive

When you blessed the day
I just drift away
All my world is right
I'm glad that I'm alive

You set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman
I'm glad you're back

I couldn't get much higher
My spirit takes flight
(My spirit takes flight)
Because I'm alive
(Because I'm alive)

Ooh... never bound

(When you call on me)
When you call on me
(When I hear you breathe)
When I hear you breathe
(I get wings to fly...)
I feel that I'm alive

Oh yeah, I'm alive.

(When you reach for me)
When you reach for me
(Erases fear inside)
Loves knows that

That I'll be the one standing by
Through good and through trying times
And it's only begun
I can't wait for the rest of my life

(When you call for me)
When you call on me
(When you reach for me)
When you reach for me
(I get wings to fly...)
Ah-ah...
(I feel that...)

(When you blessed the day)
When you blessed, you blessed the day
(I just drift away)
I just drift away
(All my world is dark)
I know that... I'm alive

Yeah...

I get wings to fly
God knows that I'm alive...

Cheska's thoughts at 7:37 PM

I was happy, at first, with the way things started out this morning. Unfortunately, something happened...

All of a sudden, I felt something pinching my insides. I stood still...my eyes were wide open...I couldn't utter the words to say. I couldn't bear what I saw, so I quickly walked away.

I didn't know how I felt. Various emotions were stirring inside me. All I just know I didn't feel good. I felt I was suffering a breakdown. I felt that I was struck by an enormous force.

I kept thinking that it was nothing, but the image kept on replaying inside my head. I tried to read my new book to find an answer, but I couldn't take my mind off the incident. I kept on asking myself (even to my closest buds), "What am I going to do?"

Even though my mind was a little bit settled by the words of my trustworthy friends, I'm still stuck with these unknown and stirring emotions. I kept on questioning myself especially the italicized words above. I even feel like I'm going crazy!

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?...

Cheska's thoughts at 9:11 PM

Hooray for me!!!

Ehem..here I present to you this month's layout!!! Pretty, isn't it? Yeah..I like it a lot too. Honestly, what I really like about it is the saying above (umm..that's the header, I think). Well..those are the exact words I want to say to someone special. It fits perfectly! Okie..gotta run now..I mean eat..hahahaha..n_n..

Have fun!

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Have fun with the Cbox!!!Hehehe..n_n..

Cheska's thoughts at 6:54 PM

Royalty -- this word has been in my head ever since I started to read the Royalty Series of the Sweet Valley High books (if you know anyone who doesn't read these books anymore or if it is you yourself...may I borrow them? I've been addicted to these books for so long!).

I have always been a fairy tale lover. Enormous palaces...living the royal life as a princess...and of course, having my very own Prince Charming. I don't know what got into me, thinking of these things -- it even makes me laugh. I guess I was just swept away by the story -- the Wakefield twins living in a modern fairy tale. The story is really great especially when Elizabeth (the older twin) falls in love with a real prince.

(sigh) How magical! Well, in my opinion, I do believe there's a fairy tale in every one of us! (smiles)

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Am I getting dreamy or what? (laughs)

Cheska's thoughts at 8:39 PM