**[her bittersweet melodrama]**

Nothing really happened for the past days, but I'd rather tell you..

I felt a lot better ever since I talked to two people who know what I advice they should give. They are right, I should move on with the life God has given me. Thank you so much, Kathy and Ate Karen.

However, I can't deny on how much I miss the guy who has been close to my heart already. Everyday, I look at my cell phone, hoping that he would text me once again. When I go online, I open his archive and read the conversations we had. I really miss those times. But, everything fell into pieces -- pieces that are shattered, wasted, and will never be picked up.

While undergoing the healing process, God opened my eyes to a lot of things. I ranked 3rd in our class and 4th in the whole Second Year. I received the award, "First in Deportment", again and lastly, qualified for the AP Quiz Bee.

There are a lot better things on Earth -- I guess this is what God is trying to tell me. I've fallen head-over-heels for a guy and lost interest in Him and His wondrous works. As a result, he took him away from me, but for the better. A guy is only a guy, but God is more than who He really is.

Cheska's thoughts at 10:23 PM

A new pain...

It happened just this Wednesday. It was my first time to experience this, and it hurts so much. Who would want to experience being a "third party"? You've like the guy so much, and now, something comes up. He wasn't the guy you thought he was, because he also has his own little secret.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

Since then, I felt hurt...really hurt. Once again, my familiar friend, my own tears, came. I wasn't only hurt by what he did, but I also felt guilty and afraid. If only we didn't know each other, nothing would happen like this! I just ruined his life and even their relationship! I don't know if I have the courage to step onto the grounds of the other side. People there probably know what had been going on already.

"If that's the case, you better stop what's going on between the two of you."

This is going to be tough. However, I'm not really the one who caused all the trouble because I didn't know. I absolutely had no idea. It was also his fault. He didn't tell me the truth...

I thought that everything will be alright, but I guess I was wrong -- very wrong. I could talk to myself right now, "Cheska, you fell for another loser." I couldn't agree more. When things are starting to work out just fine, a mushroom sprouts from the ground and destroys the picture.

I just thought of this last night. I'm going to let my love life have its "quiet time" for some time. I don't know how long, but it'll just rest. The incident hurt me a lot, and I just need some healing. But, I'm not telling that I'm attempting to escape again. I'll just let this feelings subside.

He will still remain in my heart, but only as someone special during the past days. It seems impossible to bring back the friendship we had. I'm sorry.

Cheska's thoughts at 4:29 AM

Hahaha..I know the title's pretty weird, but it's true. Jim is somewhat related to the Algrebra Quiz Bee we took a while ago.

Math was our first subject for this day. To everyone's surprise, our teacher announced that today is the First Elimination Round of the Math Quiz Bee. When we all started answering the papers, I suddenly though of Jim. Math is his favorite subject and that only means, he'll probably be one of Top 5 students in their class to pass the eliminations! And one more thing, if I pass the eliminations with him, we might be able to see each other again!!! At this thought, I did the best I could to answer every question. When the time ended, I became quite excited for the results. When we ended checking the papers, our teacher started calling the scores one by one. Johanna was the highest then followed by Paul, TJ, and Vanessa. Since our teacher mentioned that the Top 5 students will advance to the next round, all she needed was to mention one more name. I saw her reaction and I could tell she was somewhat surprised. Then, her eyes looked at me. She announced my name! I was the 5th participant! I did it! Yehey!!!

When I arrived home, I felt so proud of myself. I qualified for Math, but I didn't in Science (we also took the First Elimination in Science right after our Math subject). In fact, I like Science better. Well, for the Science, I admit it was easier compared to Math if and only if I didn't forget the familiar terms there. I even regret the day when I didn't listen to my sister when she was telling me all about Mitosis! Anyway, it's alright for me at least I am one of the contestants in Math and Spelling.

"I didn't only qualify just for myself nor for my family...I did it also for him."

By the way, I remembered that I read one of the advises that Today's Advises box (given by Pito as a birthday present) contain:

In the quietness and in confidence shall be your STRENGTH.

God was the one who really gave me strength. I wouldn't have qualified if it wasn't for Him.

"Thank you, Lord for giving me the strength I needed a while ago."

Cheska's thoughts at 4:45 AM

Sorry if I haven't been updating for so long. I have been busy and lazy for the past days. Anyway, here's an update regarding the first two weeks of the new year. (Expect that this is going to be quite long.)

: Jan.4 : - Ipis Invasion

The title is pretty clear. About two or three roaches invaded our classroom. It looks like they have multiplied during the vacation and had planned to surprise us on our first day in school. The day was totally crazy.

: Jan.5 : - Kay Daming Kahihiyan

A couple of my classmates had there own embarrassing moments. Anyway, no need to tell the details.

: Jan.6 : - Halatang Tinatamad Pa

We weren't the only ones who are lazy for homework and discussions, but also our teachers. Most of subjects will properly start on next week.

: Jan.7 : - Party Qh!!!

I will always remember that day. I had always longed to have a birthday party. The last party I had was I think when I was toddler. I can't quite recall what was my exact age, but I know it was really a long time ago. Thankfully, mommy let me. The party was a blast! Everyone came except for Micah and Joshua. Daming funny moments!!! Sana mapa-develop kaagad ang mga pics!! Here comes my favorite part. Since Myk, Pito, and Justin was there and they started to play some music, the rest of us (Osan, Krizsa, Abbie, Mark, and I) felt like there was a live band. Ang gagaling talaga nilang lahat lalo na sina Justin at Pito kasi first time ko lang sila marinig tumugtog. Nakaka-elibs tlga! I think Krizsa has a video of them in her cell phone.

After all the fun we had, I had come to realize something. I had finally found a group of friends where I really belong. In this group, I can be me. In this group, I learned the true meaning of friendship.

Well, that wraps up the first part of my update. I guess I'm going to post the part two tomorrow.

Babye for now!!

++ By the way, birthday ngayon ng crushie ko!!! Happy Birthday Jim!!!

Cheska's thoughts at 4:22 AM

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Wow!! Indeed, time surely flies fast. I'm already 14 years old now. I have to admit, I am no longer the little girl with clips on her hair. I'm growing up.

First of all, I want to thank you to all the people who greeted me a while ago through their text messages, calls (Krizsa!!!), posts on my cbox (Pito!!!), YM (Jo!!! Marz!!!), and even face-to-face. Although I can't name all of you, I'm certain that you know who you are. Thank you so much for your greetings!!! Mwah!!!

God has given me another year -- another year full of new journeys.

++ By the way, the welcome note you just read was a song from Nickelback called Far Away. It is one of the most touching songs I ever heard, so I like to share it with you..n_n..

Cheska's thoughts at 4:57 AM