Friday, January 20, 2006
A New Heartache: Third Party..

A new pain...

It happened just this Wednesday. It was my first time to experience this, and it hurts so much. Who would want to experience being a "third party"? You've like the guy so much, and now, something comes up. He wasn't the guy you thought he was, because he also has his own little secret.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

Since then, I felt hurt...really hurt. Once again, my familiar friend, my own tears, came. I wasn't only hurt by what he did, but I also felt guilty and afraid. If only we didn't know each other, nothing would happen like this! I just ruined his life and even their relationship! I don't know if I have the courage to step onto the grounds of the other side. People there probably know what had been going on already.

"If that's the case, you better stop what's going on between the two of you."

This is going to be tough. However, I'm not really the one who caused all the trouble because I didn't know. I absolutely had no idea. It was also his fault. He didn't tell me the truth...

I thought that everything will be alright, but I guess I was wrong -- very wrong. I could talk to myself right now, "Cheska, you fell for another loser." I couldn't agree more. When things are starting to work out just fine, a mushroom sprouts from the ground and destroys the picture.

I just thought of this last night. I'm going to let my love life have its "quiet time" for some time. I don't know how long, but it'll just rest. The incident hurt me a lot, and I just need some healing. But, I'm not telling that I'm attempting to escape again. I'll just let this feelings subside.

He will still remain in my heart, but only as someone special during the past days. It seems impossible to bring back the friendship we had. I'm sorry.


Cheska's thoughts at 4:29 AM