I want to hold on, but I need to let go... I dropped everything on the table. I had enough and I don't want to continue any longer. I know this can make me lose my deportment, but I can't stand it any longer. Watching them practice with their new and more respected leader a while ago made me cry. I have come to realize that I couldn't be a good leader. Those awards of leadership in the past are all buried now. They even seem like it was only a dream. Leadership is too much for me, especially when the people around you don't give you any respect.
On the bright side, someone shared the same pain I felt. I didn't expect it to be her, but I was glad it was her. She too feels disrespected and other people in which she named. I envy her for not even caring about the whole thing even though it hurts her. What finally made me smile were the things she said. I don't remember all, but those words were enough to lift my burden a little. Recyn, thank you for making me feel better. I probably would still be crying if you didn't talk to me. :)
My burden was lifted a little bit, so I am not fully happy and back to my normal self. Help me smile. Help me laugh. Help me to feel really better. It doesn't matter who you are, but I just need somebody to bring back the real me...
Cheska's thoughts at 2:44 AM
life's sweetness..
The sound that sting one's ears, the smell of damp paper left outside to humidify and dehydrate, the unconscious minds and treacherous hearts were all but a part of the melodrama.
