**[her bittersweet melodrama]**

Wah! Talagang...FINALLY! Makakapag-post na ako! Hehehe. Palibhasa kasi walang pasok bukas. :D

Junior-Senior Prom 2006-2007...

Her hair had added volume and was styled as if a strong wind messed it up. Her face was full of color and her ears sparkled because of the earrings that hung on her ears. She looked so different from the usual casual attire. Now, she is clad in a cocktail dress, glittery silver heels, and a pouch bag that matched her dress. She was the girl in the mirror...my own reflection.

I had longed to experience this a long time ago - young ladies in elegant gowns while the young men were in their best suits. Now, I still couldn't believe that I will be experiencing this first-hand. I looked so different and I'm sure my other classmates too.

I was among the first ones to arrive because I will be one of the masters of ceremonies along with fellow batchmate, Alex Ching. Everytime the hands of the clock moved, the more and more people came in the ballroom. When my classmates came, I was amazed on how they looked. They were so pretty while the guys looked great with their suits. Everyone looked so different. It was like they have gone out of their shell and ready to strut their stuff to the world.

We then started the prom with the Cotillion de Honor (tama ba spelling?). I was among the dancers and my partner was one of my classmates, Eduardo. Even though we tried to keep our poise, we can't help to notice the slippery floor and how small the dance floor was. Thankfully, we ended the dance with grace.

Then the rest was history, but all in all, I had a great time. What I would never forget during that time was when the boys from our class asked each of us to dance a slow dance with them. Hahaha. I didn't know that our guys were that romantic. :)

Hehehe. I can't wait for our final prom night and that would be...in our senior year.

A Scar that Finally Healed

Last Thursday was reserved for the Speech Olympics in our school. I will be competing in the Extemporaneous Speaking competition once again, but only in a different setting. Last December was difficult for me, as you all know, but here I am again. The scar in my heart hurts even more.

I prayed to God the night before. I asked Him, "Lord, is this the chance You're giving me?". "Tomorrow, my child, you will know," He whispered.

I woke up early to spend a few minutes with God before the big event. I told Him, "Lord, you know how much I want to win this. Yet, whatever the results may be, may You teach my heart to accept it and continue to be happy with life. I'm not here to please other people, but to please You because You have given this talent. I owe it all to You, Lord. Thank You."

When it was time for the contest proper, the three of us (Johanna, Kathy and I) were held in the "Waiting Room". When I came to know about the topic, my mind was flooding with thoughts and prayer. I was so nervous. Even though I was the last to be called, I couldn't stop my heart beating so fast. When my name was called, I took a deep breath and started speaking the words what God wanted me to speak. I didn't know how I did.

When it was time to announce the winners, I began to become nervous again. Then I told Johanna and Kathy that whoever wins, let's all be proud because it came from our class. When Kathy was called for Third Place, I held on to Johanna. Then, I heard my name. I received Second Place. But, as much as I wanted to win that time, I didn't feel any regret or disappointment. I was more than happy as ever! When we arrived, I was jumping up and down as if I won a million dollars or something. And even though I, the best speaker of the class, didn't win first place, my classmates congratulated me. I wasn't there to please them, but they still accepted me for who I am. What made me laugh was that my classmates even thought of putting me and Johanna on a bet. I was happy, so happy.

When I got home, I cried to my mother telling her what I felt. This was God's plan all along. He taught me how to accept results because it is according to God's will. All the while I thought that winning the contest would heal the scar, but all it took was God's will. Even though I'm only Second, I feel that I won because of God. :)

Cheska's thoughts at 2:15 AM

Well-said and stated the obvious. As much as I want to blog about a lot of things, I still have tons of work to do. Haii... Anyway, here are the topics I will be blogging about in the near future (and I don't know when will that be...):

The Princess in Me: My First Junior-Senior Prom (Pics available in my Multiply Account!)
Three is the Number

Abangan! :D

Cheska's thoughts at 2:45 AM

If it is only possible turn back time and savor those last 30 minutes with him...

My dad woke up early than his usual rest because I asked him to fetch me to school today. None of us spoke while we were in the car. I rested my chin on my hand and stared aimlessly at each passing street light and vehicle. He reached out and held my hand. And then I knew, we were already in front of my school. I didn't go out immediately, but instead, embraced him. I had finally let go of the tears that were held inside my eyes the whole time. We won't be seeing each other that much anymore. He is bound to fly to Indonesia because of work. And the next time that we would be able to see each other is on May.I cried to him saying, "Mamimiss kita, daddy" all over again. Then he told me, "Mamimiss din kita, anak. Be strong ok?" I didn't reply immediately because of my uncontrollable sobs but then nodded. "I love you, dad." I didn't proceed to where my line was, but instead looked outside at the green CRV. He's still there probably crying. I returned to my line, still crying from saying the most painful farewell.

You could just probably imagine the tears flowing from eyes as I write this post. Everytime I remember him, I couldn't help but cry. I feel incomplete without seeing him. I feel like part of me has been ripped out. I love my dad so much. So dad, if you're reading this, I miss you so much and I love you.

Cheska's thoughts at 3:19 AM