Ms. Fifteen...

The Drama That Caused the Hangover

2007-09-01T06:45:00.000-07:00

It was down to one last shot.

He held on to his guts,

and took a leap of faith.

Next thing he knew, they won.

This was the drama that caused Ateneo to scream the roof off the Big Dome. They finally had their "revenge" with the same déjà vú courtesy of its new-found hero, rookie Kirk Long.

The battle for school pride and a sure spot in the Final Four was intense. Pressure was on everyone's shoulders - field goals (FG) were low and the defence was tight. No, it wasn't the Finals yet. It was just the eliminations.

No one was sure who would win. Both teams just kept on answering shots one after the other. After a long enduring run of tabulating the scores, the Tigers had the final say when one of its best rookies, Khasim Mirza, passed through Nonoy Baclao's defence and gaining the upper hand, 71-70. There were only 19.3 seconds left and a final time out for the Blue Eagles.

Time was boiling down as the ball was put back into play. It was finally in the hands of Ford Arao, Ateneo's leading scorer. Slipping to the other side of the court, Kirk Long decided to take the leather to his hands because the Eagles main man, Chris Tiu, was heavily guarded. He attempted a three-point gunner but thought otherwise. He took a step pass Jervy Cruz and threw a long two. Thomasians and Ateneans alike, everyone began to pray. With what seemed like forever, the ball slipped inside the basket as soon as the buzzer sounded. The Blue Eagles won with a score of 72-71.

Just like all the spectators in blue and white, Bea, Mommy and I were jumping up and down, screaming our lungs out. Everyone was rejoicing! The funny thing that happened was that everyone just pounced on their hero causing them to stumble on the floor. Para silang mga bata na dahil sa sobrang tuwa ay nagkadaganan na! There were hugs and well-deserved pats on the back showing the brotherhood they share. The hero, then ran to his family, earning a big hug from his proud father. (Aww...) And you know what warmed our hearts even more? They gave back all the glory and praise to God. (The prayer was led by Coach Norman Black and former Blue Eagle, Doug Kramer. Both are Christians, by the way.) What a reward it was for his children! Praise God for this!

PS: The LONG-awaited hero just turned 19 today.Ü

The UPCAT

2007-08-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, I became part of history. I became among the many thousands of hopefuls to enter one of the most prestigious universities in the Philippines - the University of the Philippines. It was time to take the entrance exam.

I was honestly very nervous last Saturday (I was quiet for almost the whole day thinking that nothing was about to happen the following day). Good thing, my mother was there to support me. Last night, we prayed together, opening our hearts to accept whatever the results will be. Although it's really our hearts desire to pass all the examinations I'm going to take, but God might have plans otherwise. When we finished, tears just flowed down my cheeks. I was afraid of the outcome. I was afraid to get hurt again. In the same time, I was touched and happy on how supportive my whole family is. My dad even called me last night just to tell me to do my best and he's always there for me. I was also touched when my mom told me that a lot of people were praying for me (thank you, by the way). I've never thought that a lot of people cared for me! ^_^

The following day (August 5), I woke up feeling nothing but relaxed. It was like another ordinary day for me. We arrived early at the venue, knowing how heavy the traffic will be if we arrived a little later. The funny thing was my mom was more excited than I am! Hahaha. When the test began in a few minutes, I was surprise to find myself that I am relaxed until now! It feels like I was leaning on God's shoulder telling me that everything will be alright. Wow! God is really amazing, isn't he? I remember what my mom said the previous night: "God allows us to be nervous because He wants us to learn how to depend on Him". Among life's lessons, this is one that I'll never forget. Whatever the result may be, I will stay strong for it is according to God's will. ^_^

PS: I want to thank everybody who have prayed and supported me. It really meant a lot to me.

Next up, the ACET on September 16. ^_^

Blue Craziness ^_^

2007-07-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

People, especially those who don't really know me, usually think I act to mature for my age, poised, and all grown-up. Well, probably if you are one of them, you would think twice. Haha. :D

It was a good thing that classes were dismissed early yesterday and we had no classes for today because of the career orientation. Maybe you're wondering why, it's because more than 24 hours ago was the clash of two of the best schools in collegiate basketball - De La Salle University and Ateneo De Manila University. The "Thrilla in Manila".

I am an Ateneo fan. Hehe. :D And I was screaming, cheering and just acting really wild with excitement over the intense fight. Who wouldn't be if you're such a fan? Plus, there were 10 deadlocks in the game and the rival teams just kept on answering each other's shots. It was really really intense. Even my mom started screaming (by the way, much noisier than me). Hahaha.

Right before the end of the game, a family friend of mine texted my mom. Guess what? CLASSMATE NIYA SI CHRIS TIU! I don't know if I have mentioned this before, pero crush na crush na crush ko siya! Wah! Then, just in time, Chris Tiu nailed his three pointer from the corner stretching their lead to four against La Salle (hmm... I sound just like a sportscaster! hehe.). There were few answers from JV Casio, but when he fouled Chris (ano to? feeling close? hahaha.), Ateneo got the chance to put this rivalry to the end because of the co-captain's 80% shooting rate from the free throw line. Finally, after four quarters and an overtime of competition, the Eagles soared above the Archers. 80-77.

Since I already mentioned about the whole I-am-crushing-on-Chris-Tiu thing, I found out something. All I knew was that he is taking up Management Engineering (ME), but what surprised me was he is taking up Applied Mathematics: Finance. In other words, he is a DOUBLE MAJOR! All I can say is that, WOW! What more can you ask more of this guy? He isn't just a handsome face, but a brilliant student, an effective leader, and a morally upright person (based from his interviews, you can really tell if a person is raised well by the words that come out of his mouth). And mind you, I rarely see guys like him nowadays.

Hahaha. So now you know how crazy and passionate I am with regards to collegiate basketball. Yeah, I was jumping up and down, up and down, running all over the house, screaming just because of Ateneo and Chris Tiu. Haha. These are just the simple things that make me happy.

What Almost Happened Was a Sacrifice

2007-07-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

Since yesterday, I was torn up choosing between two things - something I really want to do since it only comes once in your life and another that may put me in a safe corner to leave no regrets. With so much confusion in mind, I ended up choosing the second, which is to attend the 2nd session of my review for the UPCAT. But even though I have reached up a decision, I wasn't happy. I even ended crying in my seat during class because of the overflowing disappointment. Aren't decisions made for someone not to regret anything?

I asked a few people to give me advice. It was better to accept the once-in-a-lifetime oppurtunity. I was chosen along with some selected students to represent the school in an inter-school economic congress in UP. Now, who would say no to that? It is a big privilege! But, somehow, my mother won't agree to it. Reviewing for the UPCAT is more important, she said. Great, just great.

But, as a familiar saying goes, "If there's a will, there's a way." I did just that. I called the review center a while ago and the 2nd session is also offered on Sunday. As long as the session isn't full, I can definitely go! The good news is I can go to the congress! Yehey! Now, I can attend both scheduled activities without leaving any regrets!
(I just wish that my mom is proud to me, since she isn't showing any sign that she's happy about my decision.)

"Lord, thank You for making a way for me not to leave any regret. Thank You for answering my prayer. I am truly grateful for all you have done. Thank You as well for the people, especially Lea, who touched my heart when she told me that she would support me whatever decision I will come up with. May You open the heart of my mother concerning this matter. All I want to do is for her to be proud of me. Please do so, Lord, so my heart will be at peace."

Her Bittersweet Melodrama..

2007-07-16T02:51:00.000-07:00

Sounds... bittersweet isn't it?

Apologies for posting for a very long time. Being an aspiring salutatorian, class secretary, CAT officer and a soon-to-be editorial staff member (I still have dreams of becoming editor-in-chief of our school paper before I graduate) all in one isn't really easy. In addition to that are college and scholarship applications to fill up and review classes to attend. Haii... when will I ever take a breather?

I'll be posting again once I've taken a break. I'll be also updating my multiply when that happens.

Spiderman Day..

2007-05-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

Labor Day. Araw ng Manggagawa. It was a day that all would give tribute to our Filipino workers whether they are overseas or just in factories. To celebrate this event, our government announced long ago that May 1 would be a National Holiday.

Two days ago was May 1. Everyone gets out and does whatever he wants.

Two days ago, May 1, also marked a new 'holiday' -- Spiderman Day.

As far as I can remember, I had picked up a newspaper from our church office. It has been a usual habit of mine since I'm a journalist-wannabe. While I let my eyes run down the headlines for something worth reading, a black and white picture of a well-known web slinger caught my attention. Nope, it wasn't an old black-and-white movie that our grandma's use to watch, but the long-awaited third installment of Spiderman. That picture dated a year ago. Now, it's a mega-Asian blockbuster hit.

Spiderman 3's World Premiere was held in Tokyo, Japan last April 16. With the Philippines and other Asian countries lucky enough, the movie is now in cinemas ahead of the United States (May 4). On its premiere, it already earned millions of dollars making it a blockbuster hit.

Thought this is the story? Nope. That's just the intro of it. ^_~

It was a loooooooooong line to the ticket booth alright. It was a sudden gimmick so we aren't the lucky ones who already have those tickets in our hands. Hahaha. How I envy them! While time tortured our aching legs and sore feet, we watched a number of people fall out from line, deciding to watch the movie next time. Guess their string of patience already broke. Anyway, our stomachs were already grumbling so a few of us grabbed something to eat. Hehehe. In other words, we already had a picnic for a while. Unfortunately for me, I was wearing a skirt -- umm, scratch that -- a MINI-SKIRT. Hahaha. I was torturing myself. So I was left standing in line with my wedges on. Good thing I am already used to standing for hours because of our COCC. Hehehe. Advantage!

Finally, after almost 3 DRAGGING AND CRUEL HOURS, we finally got our beloved tickets. Hahaha. Patience is indeed a virtue. So, we're on to the movie!

So you ask, "How was it?" Over-all? I give the movie 5 stars. Even though I am not a fan of ordinary-civilians-turned-superhero type of movies, it caught my attention. I was amazed by the visual effects like the crawling black goo and how you can see sand particles without using a microscope because of the Sandman. The stunts were superb. Spidey isn't all web, but he can actually fight. And of course, the unforgettable transformation of Peter Parker from a nerdy-looking journalist to emo. Hahaha. Honestly, it looked actually sexy on him. I'm not saying that I am staying on the badside, but it really suited him.

Besides from what we all the special effects and action we saw, I hope we also diverted our attention to what Peter Parker had said. From "With great power comes great responsibility", all changed to "We all have choices." It was a great conclusion for the movie because each of the characters made their own choices, especially our protagonist. He was torn between the temptation of becoming more powerful and staying on the good side. When he chose to wear the black suit, he became a whole new person -- hurting everyone who cared for him. Soon, after losing everything, he regretted his decision.

We all have choices.

Finally, I have to say that this movie isn't really for kids. It's more of a PG-13. Well, the fight scenes are intense but not to the point that they're gorey. So if you're going with somebody way younger than you, just accompany them. Don't worry about the babysitting, you'll enjoy it.

After watching, we made our way going in circles in The Block until it closed. Hahaha. We were in there for a whole day! With nothing to do, we took pictures with Mr. Potatohead and Spiderman. We were actually so sleepy that we made a fool out of ourselves.

It was a lot like a despedida for me, because for the next three weeks, I'll be at the south of the country.

Story of an Untold Princess

2007-04-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

Just like every little girl, my mother used to read to me stories wherein Cinderella left one of her glass slippers, a kiss woke up Aurora from her sleep, Belle waltzed with the Beast, and Jasmine went on for a magic carpet ride. Because of my innocence, I believed that fairytales can happen. And...

It did -- after almost a decade.

He was close to perfection. He has everything I pictured -- no, he has MORE than everything I ever pictured. I found him. My prince.

Just like all fairytales, there were opposing forces and magical fairies. Those who and which didn't want to give me a happy ending made my eyes swollen from crying and my heart confused. Fortunately, I had fairies. With a twirl of their wands, my prince and I grew closer. Friends to be exact.

This was my fairytale -- a lot like many of the stories you know. But unlike Snow White and Cinderella, it didn't end with a kiss from a prince. It actually ended because the princess no longer loves the prince. She still treasured what they shared before, but the prince was busy for the King's kingdom. She will no longer see him that often nor speak to him like old times. They have different paths to walk on, so the princess lets go of his hand.

I lived in my fairytale for almost two years already. Even though it didn't go according to what I had in mind, I still believe that fairytales can really happen. I just hope that my next fairytale will finally be a "Happy Ever After".

Terribly Sad and Painfully True...

2007-04-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

I am well aware of the fact that I haven't posted anything recently. And the alibis that I've been using before are still the reasons why. I'll be posting a lot next time. For now, I have to confront my feelings.

Three days ago, it has just occured to me that I will soon be facing a painful reality. In two months, he will be setting off to college while I will still have my last year in high school. We will rarely see and communicate each other because we're going to be too busy fulfilling our dreams. Terribly sad and painfully true.

I know I will soon enter college, but still there is no chance of meeting him as frequently as before. We're still going to be distances away from each other like polar ends on the opposite sides of the globe. (Well, it kinda sounds exaggerating but you probably know what I mean. On the other hand, it might sound possible.) Again, terribly sad and painfully true.

Considering these realizations, I have come up with a difficult conclusion. I'm letting go of my feelings for him. They're of no use anymore. Plus, we'll get to meet other people -- many more people that are so much better. And probably, we'll get to fall in love with them. Besides, this game all along was one-sided. I was the only one who was interested. I need to move on. It would be for the better. Especially for the future.

Sa Wakas...

2007-02-25T02:15:00.000-08:00

Wah! Talagang...FINALLY! Makakapag-post na ako! Hehehe. Palibhasa kasi walang pasok bukas. :D

Junior-Senior Prom 2006-2007...

Her hair had added volume and was styled as if a strong wind messed it up. Her face was full of color and her ears sparkled because of the earrings that hung on her ears. She looked so different from the usual casual attire. Now, she is clad in a cocktail dress, glittery silver heels, and a pouch bag that matched her dress. She was the girl in the mirror...my own reflection.

I had longed to experience this a long time ago - young ladies in elegant gowns while the young men were in their best suits. Now, I still couldn't believe that I will be experiencing this first-hand. I looked so different and I'm sure my other classmates too.

I was among the first ones to arrive because I will be one of the masters of ceremonies along with fellow batchmate, Alex Ching. Everytime the hands of the clock moved, the more and more people came in the ballroom. When my classmates came, I was amazed on how they looked. They were so pretty while the guys looked great with their suits. Everyone looked so different. It was like they have gone out of their shell and ready to strut their stuff to the world.

We then started the prom with the Cotillion de Honor (tama ba spelling?). I was among the dancers and my partner was one of my classmates, Eduardo. Even though we tried to keep our poise, we can't help to notice the slippery floor and how small the dance floor was. Thankfully, we ended the dance with grace.

Then the rest was history, but all in all, I had a great time. What I would never forget during that time was when the boys from our class asked each of us to dance a slow dance with them. Hahaha. I didn't know that our guys were that romantic. :)

Hehehe. I can't wait for our final prom night and that would be...in our senior year.

A Scar that Finally Healed

Last Thursday was reserved for the Speech Olympics in our school. I will be competing in the Extemporaneous Speaking competition once again, but only in a different setting. Last December was difficult for me, as you all know, but here I am again. The scar in my heart hurts even more.

I prayed to God the night before. I asked Him, "Lord, is this the chance You're giving me?". "Tomorrow, my child, you will know," He whispered.

I woke up early to spend a few minutes with God before the big event. I told Him, "Lord, you know how much I want to win this. Yet, whatever the results may be, may You teach my heart to accept it and continue to be happy with life. I'm not here to please other people, but to please You because You have given this talent. I owe it all to You, Lord. Thank You."

When it was time for the contest proper, the three of us (Johanna, Kathy and I) were held in the "Waiting Room". When I came to know about the topic, my mind was flooding with thoughts and prayer. I was so nervous. Even though I was the last to be called, I couldn't stop my heart beating so fast. When my name was called, I took a deep breath and started speaking the words what God wanted me to speak. I didn't know how I did.

When it was time to announce the winners, I began to become nervous again. Then I told Johanna and Kathy that whoever wins, let's all be proud because it came from our class. When Kathy was called for Third Place, I held on to Johanna. Then, I heard my name. I received Second Place. But, as much as I wanted to win that time, I didn't feel any regret or disappointment. I was more than happy as ever! When we arrived, I was jumping up and down as if I won a million dollars or something. And even though I, the best speaker of the class, didn't win first place, my classmates congratulated me. I wasn't there to please them, but they still accepted me for who I am. What made me laugh was that my classmates even thought of putting me and Johanna on a bet. I was happy, so happy.

When I got home, I cried to my mother telling her what I felt. This was God's plan all along. He taught me how to accept results because it is according to God's will. All the while I thought that winning the contest would heal the scar, but all it took was God's will. Even though I'm only Second, I feel that I won because of God. :)

MaRaMinG DaPat i-bLog perO maraMinG giNaGawa (Haii...)

2007-02-21T02:45:00.000-08:00

Well-said and stated the obvious. As much as I want to blog about a lot of things, I still have tons of work to do. Haii... Anyway, here are the topics I will be blogging about in the near future (and I don't know when will that be...):

The Princess in Me: My First Junior-Senior Prom (Pics available in my Multiply Account!)
Three is the Number

Abangan! :D

Those Last 30 Minutes...

2007-02-12T03:19:00.000-08:00

If it is only possible turn back time and savor those last 30 minutes with him...

My dad woke up early than his usual rest because I asked him to fetch me to school today. None of us spoke while we were in the car. I rested my chin on my hand and stared aimlessly at each passing street light and vehicle. He reached out and held my hand. And then I knew, we were already in front of my school. I didn't go out immediately, but instead, embraced him. I had finally let go of the tears that were held inside my eyes the whole time. We won't be seeing each other that much anymore. He is bound to fly to Indonesia because of work. And the next time that we would be able to see each other is on May.I cried to him saying, "Mamimiss kita, daddy" all over again. Then he told me, "Mamimiss din kita, anak. Be strong ok?" I didn't reply immediately because of my uncontrollable sobs but then nodded. "I love you, dad." I didn't proceed to where my line was, but instead looked outside at the green CRV. He's still there probably crying. I returned to my line, still crying from saying the most painful farewell.

You could just probably imagine the tears flowing from eyes as I write this post. Everytime I remember him, I couldn't help but cry. I feel incomplete without seeing him. I feel like part of me has been ripped out. I love my dad so much. So dad, if you're reading this, I miss you so much and I love you.

From Six Feet Under...

2006-12-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

After a nearly two-month “disappearance”, she has finally come back…

Haha. I’m back, people! Haha. It’s good to be back blogging again. I miss my blog so much!

Here’s the list of what I will be talking about:

A Tremedous Leap of Faith
Regional Secondary Schools Press Conference
Voice of Our Youth
Healing
It's Party Time!
The Quality of Being True or Real

A Tremendous Leap of Faith

Everything was packed. Balik-bayan boxes were everywhere. The cupboards were empty; my mother’s figurines weren’t displayed anymore -- the house was bear. The truck came in that morning. It was really time to move.

Two months. For two months, we begged, prayed, and waited. And honestly, I still can’t believe by the fact that we already have a house that we can call our own. OUR HOUSE. It just sounds so different when you say it.

November 26, 2006 marked the beginning of a new life in our new home. A new tapestry full of memories will be woven. I asked mom if we’re going to stay here forever, and she nodded. Many things will happen under a new roof. My sister will soon be in high school while I will soon be off to college as well. A lot more will unfold. A whole lot more.

Every time I look at our new house from outside, I thank God for all that we have been through. My parents weren’t the only one who struggled during those times, my sister and I as well. We even doubted God’s plan for the house because He was so silent. We were wrong. He was listening during all those times of turmoil. He was just testing our patience and even our faith on His plans.

One night, my mother showed me a newspaper article she had kept over a year. The house in the article looked exactly like our new house! Only, it is a little bit bigger. We checked the date and it read “September 2005”. What a coincidence, isn’t it? It was in God’s plan all along!

This experience taught us to rely on Him. We shouldn’t rush into things. God has a perfect plan for everyone. All we need is a tremendous leap of faith.

Regional Secondary Schools Press Conference

Ever since the day I attended the Journalism Workshop back when I was in Grade 4, I fell in love with all forms of writing, especially journalism. Honestly, I wanted to back out from the very first day. But, I realized this might be the very thing I am destined for.

I became excited when our journalism adviser announced to me on such a short notice that I will be joining in the Regional Secondary Schools Press Conference (RSSPC). I miss competing in the field of writing! Without any hesitation, I agreed to join.

The day of the contest finally arrived. We were seated at the back, so you could probably just imagine us yawning because we can’t hear anything. After hours of just sitting there, it was time for the contest proper. I was one of the people who had to wait for hours because I am competing for one category only, Copy reading and Headline Writing, my forte and favorite.

Before battling our wits on grammar and editing, participants for Copy reading and Headline Writing were honored to have Mr. Isagani Yambut, publisher of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, as our judge. He gave us a quick briefing on what he was looking for and other tips that we can use. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any time left for any of us to have an autograph from him.

I frankly had a difficult time copy reading. I am sure that I won’t be able to go to Baguio were the Nationals will be held nor be among the Top 10. It happened just as I expected. We had little time left for the training that’s why we weren’t that prepared. That’s when I began to miss once again our former journalism adviser, Mrs. Digna Umali.

I fell in love with journalism because of her. She was the one who unwrapped the gift that was hidden in me -- the gift of writing. She was the first to worry why I left Saint Claire when I was a freshman. I miss her so much already. I really want to talk to her someday.

Anyway, as for the contest, I will be much more prepared in my senior year. I am not really aspiring to rank first, but to become one of the students, who are part of the Top 10 in the Nationals, is already a great honor for me.

Voice of Our Youth

In class, I was considered as one of the best speakers by my teachers and classmates. My voice then reached to Villa Corrina when I was chosen to be one of the emcees of our First Convocation. I was satisfied with all of that, but I never knew that my voice could even soar to greater heights.

I had just finished eating dinner when the phone rang. Our helper picked up the phone and told me it was one of my teachers. I was curious on who could it be. I was then surprised when I knew that it was Sir Castro, my teacher in Grammar. At first, I thought he was going to give me an errand, but he told me something that was unexpected. He told me that I was chosen to represent the school in the coming Voice of Our Youth: National Impromptu Speaking Competition. I was completely surprised. I asked him again, thinking that I must be hallucinating, but his news was true. I was stammering when we continued to talk about it. After putting the phone back to where it belongs, I screamed and jumped up and down with joy. I couldn’t believe it! Out of hundreds of students, I, a third year student, was chosen to become a participant of this contest! What honor it is for me!

The training lasted for many weeks. And during those times, I even have my own drama. A couple of years ago, we had reached the Nationals because of one particular student. I couldn’t deny on how wonderful she talks back when I was in elementary, but comparing me from her by other teachers was too much. No one likes to be compared from anyone else right? But to the fact that the teachers are the ones who are doing the comparison is painful for me. What even hurts me is that I could hear them so clearly! I want to tell them that I am me. I am not that student. We have our own ways of speaking and both of us are unique from each other. I composed myself with those thoughts. They would never listen to me, especially I am not that student they’re referring to.

The date of the contest was postponed a couple of times. I smiled thinking that God was giving me more time to prepare myself so I would be declared as the winner or among the students who will proceed to the second eliminations. Or so I thought…

The moment had finally come. Surprisingly, I found myself relaxed as if I was there wasn’t any contest. The contest proper started late than what was designated. We drew lots to know ho comes first, second, and so forth. I was the fifth to speak. We, contestants, were guided to stay in a waiting room. Inside, I made a few acquaintances -- the participant from Ramon Magsaysay High School, from Grace Christian Academy, from Stella Maris, from Saint Anthony, and from Ateneo De Manila High School. After long minutes of composing myself and organizing my ideas, I was finally called to speak.

I couldn’t remember what I said or how I talked, all I know is that I went berserk. After a probable four minutes of talking, I became comfortable of what I did. There might be a possibility that I can be part of the Top 6 (we were 12, which means they will get half) that will proceed to the second eliminations.

After a not-so-sumptuous meal, it was time for the announcement of winners. We were all called in front to get our certificates of participation. As each student was called, the more I became excited to hear my name. 6th… 5th… 4th… 3rd… 2nd… and finally, the 1st. For a while, my chest began to ache. My heart stopped pounding. I can’t breathe. My world crumbled to the ground.

I didn’t make it. I returned to my seat silently. I can’t look at anyone right now, especially to my teacher. I kept on pressing my lips until I could feel the pain. This must be a nightmare, but wasn’t. I didn’t make it for real. I wanted to cry right there and then, but I fought the tears. I don’t want anyone to see me crying. Not in front of many people.

I stayed silent until the rest of the trip back to school. None of us dared to speak a single word. When we finally got there, I wanted to run away. But I can’t. I still need to face them no matter what. Every time, they would ask me on how did I do, whether a teacher or student, I just simply shake my head. Their answers vary, but they all mean the same thing -- “it’s OK, at least you had the experience”. I put on a fake smile, letting them know that I’m fine.

I would never forget what Kathy told me when she knew what happened: “OK lang yan, Cheska. Ikaw pa rin ang aming ‘summary’. Astig ka pa rin.” I just want to cry and hug her after she said that. I never knew that someone would say something like that to me, especially after what had happened.

When my mother finally came to fetch me, I let the tears fall. Instead of putting her hands on the steering wheel, she placed her hands around me and tried to comfort me. From streams, my tears became rivers that were endlessly flowing. I couldn’t stop. I was miserable. I failed my parents, my classmates, my friends, my teachers -- everyone who expected me to win. What even hurts me more is that everyone who I have been acquainted to were part of the Top 6. It just seems so unfair. Everyone prayed for me. I even begged to God to give me a chance to reach the Nationals. This happens only once in a lifetime! However, it slipped away from my grasp.

I couldn’t stop crying. I kept on asking God, “Lord, why did you let this happen? Tell me, Lord.” I felt that God has forsaken me. He gave me this chance, but didn’t grant my heart’s desire.

Healing

The day after the competition, I didn’t go to school. I was so ashamed of myself. I was so embarrassed to show my face to everyone who expected me to win. My parents supported my decision. I just need time to let the deep scar heal.

We were having a silent breakfast when my mother asked me if I want to go out and spend time together. I simply nodded. She might probably be thinking that this might be a good idea to make me feel better.

We went to Gateway and decided to watch “Happy Feet”. The movie was great, especially with the songs and dance numbers. However, the ending was anti-climatic. The story teaches us that it isn’t bad to be different. In fact, being different will make you recognizable and others can even come out of their shell because of you. I say it was anti-climatic because in the end, it somehow lost that point. However, I’ll still give five stars because it brought back the happiness that I almost lost.

Typing about this painful experience still brings tears to my eyes. But I’m glad that there are people who can bring back the smiles and the laughter back to me. God hasn’t revealed to me the answer to my question until this very moment. He’s probably waiting for the perfect timing to tell me.

It’s Party Time!

On the last day of our exams, our class had our very own Christmas Party. That was the last day for all of us to be together for the year 2006.

The highlight of the party was of course our Kris Cringle. All the gifts were gathered at the center. One by one, the student will get his or her gift and give it to the one he picked. What was even more exciting was that days before the party, each one of us told what gift we would like to receive. When everyone got their gifts, all of us opened them at the same time. Most of us got the gifts that we wanted, including me! I finally have my very own copy of Elisabeth Elliot’s Passion and Purity!

The day after was the much-awaited High School Dance. The party even includes a dance and a band competition. Unfortunately, we didn’t win in both competitions. However, I received praises from my fellow classmates because of my dancing even though I forgot a lot of steps. Our band was great, especially Joko who surprised me with his talent in music. In other words, na-elibs talaga ako. There is also this other member of the band who definitely is cute and was great when he performed a solo on his guitar.

Overall, I must say that the party was average. I prefer the party that happened last year when everyone was hyped to dance the night away. If I were to organize the event, I would suggest that the High School Dance should be all about dancing. On the other hand, the band competition can be held on our school fair. This can be a part of our fund-raising project. I observed that the competition destroys the momentum of everyone who were in his or her party mode. Oh well, it sure was an enjoyable night somehow.

The Quality of Being True or Real

I was looking for the perfect word to describe my situation right now. Thanks to our Spelling set, I found that very word.

Verisimilitude = the quality of being true or real

For a short while, loving the impossible made me set my standards on a higher level that I thought no one would ever reach. However, it was all an alibi. I was escaping from reality and even my true feelings. I realized that I’m making a fool out of myself, not admitting that I still love him. So right now, I want to be true with myself. I still love him.

That’s the end of my ultra-long entry. We still don’t have an internet connection. However, I manage to look for a way by using my phone. We’ll probably have a regular internet connection by January and yes, it will be DSL. Toodles!

By the way, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Mukhang Mahal Ko Pa Siya...

2006-11-04T03:47:00.000-08:00

Pansin niyo? Hindi na English yung mga entries ko. Tagalog na. Hahaha. Sawa na kasi ako mag-type sa English kahit na yun yung first language ko. Hehehe.

Minsan ayoko siya makita. Minsan gusto ko siya makita. Eh, ayoko na nga sa kanya di ba? Bakit hinahanap ko pa siya?

Hindi naman ako naive kapag nandyan siya. Wala lang talaga yung kilig feeling. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na gusto kong ibalik yung feeling na yun kaso...ewan ko ba. Naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko. Sabi nga nila na, "Bakit ka pa magmamadali kung kayo naman ang nakalaan para sa isa't-isa?"

Ganun nga yata kapag nagmahal ka. Hindi nga basta-basta nawawala. Pero, gusto ko ba talaga mawala ito o gusto ko panatiliin ito?

Kanta ko para dyan:

BAKIT

by Rachelle Ann Go

Ikaw, Ang nagbibigay ligaya sa akin

Sa aking damdamin

Dala'y ngiti sa puso ko

Kapag ika'y kasama ko

Sa tuwing ika'y nakikita

Biglang sumasaya

Lungkot ay nawawala

Nagtatanong ang puso ko

Ano kaya ito

CHORUS:

Bakit hanap-hanap kita?

Bakit hindi nagsasawa

Sa puso ko’y laging ikaw

Laging nais na matanaw

Bakit hindi nagbabago?

Mayro’ng kaba sa puso ko?

Anong nadarama?

Ikaw na nga kaya, mahal ko

[Repeat 2nd Verse]

[Repeat Chorus]

Hindi ko maintindihan

Minsa’y gulong-gulo

Bigla na lang naramdaman

Nandirito ang puso ko

[Repeat Chorus]

Mahal ko...

Mukhang mahal ko pa siya. Hindi maganda ito.

Ngiti Lang Ako...

2006-10-30T02:56:00.000-08:00

October 28 - Saturday

Sumama na ako sa practice nina Krizsa for the fellowship this coming November. Hehehe. Di ko matiis eh. Gusto ko talaga sumayaw and mag-perform. Matagal-tagal na kasi eh. Plus... ANG TABA KO NA!!! Kailangan ko na talaga pumayat at kontrolin na ang pagkain ko. Pag dumating na kasi ang Christmas and ang birthday ko, kainan to the max and mahirap na magpapayat. Hehehe. Anyway, ang pagsasayaw ko will be one form of exercise.

Yehey!!! After so many weeks, nakapag-COC na kami. Hehehe. Daming updates especially sa pagitan namin ni Krish. Enjoy pa kami sa lesson.

THE RIGHT THING AT THE WRONG TIME IS STILL THE WRONG THING.

Hahaha. Tawa nga ako ng tawa nung tinanong sa akin ni Ate Karen kung manligaw sa akin si Chris Tiu and as in now na. Aba, syempre, di ko na pakakawalan yun!!! XD Hahaha. Ang sarap mangarap! :D Sana magkatotoo. Jowk! :D

October 29 - Sunday

Hehehe. Surprise! Surprise!

Finally, after months of waiting, na-baptize na ako! :) What's even more special about it is that tinupad ni God yung wish ni mama na ma-baptize ako within the week of her birthday! :D Kahit na hindi surprise pero malaking tuwa ng mom ko kasi after a long time siya naghintay for this moment to come.

Hehehe. Na-shock si Ate Karen at si Ate Ai! :D Hehe. Glad you liked my surprise!

Nandun si Paul, isa sa mga classmates ko. Even though regular siya naga-attend ng church, I was glad na he sat at the front. Hehehe.

Si Patt gusto mapanood baptismal ko! XD Nung kinuwento ko sa kanya, excited na excited siya katulad ko. Hehehe. Don't worry, Patt, ipakita ko na lang sayo. Hehehe.

MY PLANS...

November 4: Fil Oil-Flying V Homegrown Invitational Cup (1pm). "They met at the UAAP and now, they will meet again." -- I met Chris Tiu at the UAAP and now, I will meet him again!!! Hahaha... Di na ako makapaghintay!!! XD
Practice para sa sayaw...
Swimming...
Maghanda na sa Quiz Bee eliminations!!!

Excited na ako sa mga days to come. Excited na rin ako bumalik sa school kasi kasali ako sa Intrams! :)

Sem Break Na!! XD

2006-10-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

School's out for now, and I'm going to party!!! XD

Well, at least for nine days. Hehehe...

October 25 - My Mom's Birthday...

The day before her birthday, dad treated the whole family to eat at one of our favorite hotels, the Edsa Shang-ri La. It was expensive alright, but it was really worth it. The food was delicious! There were dishes ranging from Filipino, Asian, Japanese, and even European. We had a feast! Bea and I even endulged ourselves with our very own crepe for dessert. Yummy! We would love to go back there!

On the actual day, we celebrated mom's birthday with a touch of simplicity. Kani Salad for the appetizer, Spaghetti for the main course, and a caramel cake from Estrel's. Hehehe. Everyone was happy especially my mom who had a wonderful year and will soon have the greatest gift of all -- our new house. :)

My mom who had just finished blowing her candle...

A closer look at the cake. It looks so pretty...

October 27 - Opening of the Intramurals (Last Day! XD)

Everyone is as psyched as I do for our Semestral Break. We really need a goodnight sleep. We've been burning the midnight oil with all the requirements and exams in our hands. We, girls, hate looking at ourselves in the mirror because of all the eyebags and pimples on our faces. However, before all that...LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (Well, that would be until we get back on November 6. Teehee! :D)

Culiat High School's Drum and Lyre Band with an entertaining performance. They were great! I love the synchronization of the flags and the songs that they played.

Congratulations again to all the Juniors! Winning the Muse and Escort contest marks another step closer to being the Best Batch. Congratz! :D

Behind the Frustration...

2006-10-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

He went silent after I mentioned his name. He sighed. "Makaalis na nga," he said.

Did I hurt him? He didn't even say goodbye.

Was he jealous? I don't know.

I like another, but he seems affected.

He likes another, so I don't bother the thought anymore.

Or do I?

A Tiny Space in My Heart...

2006-10-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

Iimbitahin mo pa rin ba siya sa party mo?

Syempre. Kaibigan ko parin naman yun...tsaka, malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kanya.

Bakit?

Basta.

That was my conversation with my mom went when we were ready to leave SM and finished our shopping spree. Actually, there is a continuation on what I said:

Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kanya dahil...siya yung taong unang minahal ko.

There is still that feeling that occupies a very tiny space in my heart to notice. Sometimes, I even feel lonely because we don't get to text or talk to each other that often. We're only friends right now. No more tingly feeling. No more kilig factor.

I miss him, but I'm letting go. And let me say that again, I'd rather fall into the arms of the unreachable than wishing for the person you love right now fall for you.

Wish I could be the one

The one who could give you love

The kind of love you really need

Wish I could say to you

That I'll always stay with you...

I'm not the one you're needing

I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you

I don't really wanna go

But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do

You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be

Who'll give you something better

Than the love you'll find with me...

Leaving someone when you love someone

Is the hardest thing to do

When you love someone as much as I love you

A Tear-Stained Face...

2006-10-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

Only a few seconds were left. UST was leading by two points. Everyone was hanging on to his or her seats. The people in blue (and even I at home) were begging for a miracle. When the game clock boiled down to zero, so does my energy. The tigers finally caught their prey.

I was totally in tears. I was disappointed and frustrated. Ateneo was the #1 team in the eliminations, while UST was #4. How frustrating is that?

As I wiped the tears away from my face, I saw JC Intal, the “Rocket” and #1 player of the Blue Eagles, crying over the defeat. Tears began to water again around my eyes as I remembered that this is his last year in the UAAP. What a painful graduation gift this is for him and for the rest of the seniors.

It was hard for me to accept the fact that the Blue Eagles lost. I wasn’t even in the mood to answer calls and text messages. Trying to choke back the sobs like Chris Tiu, I turned off the TV and walked away with a tear-stained face.

Three in One...

2006-10-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

Under Flying Roofs and Tumbling Trees

On a grey Thursday morning, I woke up seeing the coconut tree swaying crazily with the wind. Classes were suspended, according to the news. I was happy for I have enough time to do my requirements and watch the second game of the Finals between ADMU and UST scheduled on that day. Feeling excited, I didn’t notice that the winds have become stronger outside my room.

Raindrops fell heavily on our car as my mother drove my sister and I to my classmate’s house for practice. When we arrived, the electricity was cut off. Without anything to do, we just ate, slept, and stared at the ceiling.

Unfortunately, for me, I couldn’t sleep. My mind was busy tossing and turning on what we should do. I could hear my mind screaming, “You’re here for practice, not to lie around in someone else’s house!” In reply, I breathed a heavy sigh. How can we practice if there aren’t any batteries available and the electricity was cut off? I was imagining doing some steps for our dance until I heard pieces of yero crash down. I looked outside and saw a tree collapse and other stuff that weren’t there before we arrived. As I closed the door, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

I was scared. Hearing the wind howl and yeros falling apart, makes me want to hide until I can’t hear anything. I’ve never experienced a storm like this. It was really frightening.

On our way going home, I saw a shocking scene that I never saw before. Branches of trees were scattered everywhere, a MMDA post fell, and pieces of stuff that probably belong to roofs of houses. When we arrived home, I was even more shocked to hear that my parents’ room, my sister’s room, and even the computer room were flooded. Miraculously, only my room wasn’t damaged by the wrath of the storm. I regret for not leaving earlier (blame it on my sister who still doesn’t want to go home). If I stayed home, I would have helped my parents clean up.
The storm finally moved out of Metro Manila, but the supply of electricity isn’t turned on yet. My cell phone has no signal. There was no radio to listen to. There was nothing to do. It was only us and the candles.

We had nothing to do during that day, I recalled. My sister and I tried to kill boredom doing silly things and playing games. However, I pity those families who experienced things worse than this. For my sister and I, boredom can kill us, figuratively. For others, the storm killed their loved ones, houses, and crops under flying roofs and tumbling trees.

Hardcourt Cutie

Because of the wrath of Milenyo, the second game of the Finals between ADMU and UST was postponed yesterday. It turns out to be what I expected. The UST Growling Tigers won making the Ateneo Blue Eagles push through a deciding game on Monday. (Ok, I sound like a courtside reporter. Haha.)

For the past weeks of watching UAAP, I was drooling over a hardcourt cutie wearing a jersey #17 of the Ateneo Blue Eagles. His name is Christopher John A. Tiu or more popularly known as Chris Tiu.

It all started out two or three years ago when I accidentally flipped the channel and became interested in college basketball. By that time, I had a major crush on Joseph Yeo of the De La Salle Green Archers. (Hmm…I do have a taste for chinitos, don’t I? XD) I only heard of the name “Chris Tiu” when he was crowned MVP in the Junior Division (I think…) or just one of the junior players of Ateneo.

Now, I’m totally obsessed with him. I found some information about him through various websites that proves he isn’t just a face. He’s smart -- I mean -- brilliant. It is rare to find someone like him, especially when you’re rich and handsome.

Here is something I found at one fan’s blog. If you’re a die-hard fan of Chris Tiu like me, you’ll probably laugh on the floor.

Background: The "Little Girl" is seven years old... And all the other girls are in their Sophomore year at the Ateneo.
Girl 1 to Little Girl: We lost!
Little Girl: I know, and you were all cheering so loudly!
Girl 2: You'll understand us when you get there, because this is what college is all about: hell weeks and basketball.
Girl 3: And Chris Tiu.
Girl 2: Yeah, and someday you'll go to college and have your very own "Chris Tiu."
Little Girl: What's a “Chris Tiu”?
Girl 3: It's the epitome of perfection, dear.
Little Girl: Oh.

Hahaha. I love this post! XD

Well, at least there is still someone who is wonderful in the appearance of Chris Tiu.

Haii…I hope it is true that when I’ll go to college, I will have my very own Chris Tiu. I’m sure you’re wishing for that, too. But for now, we’ll just turn on the television and cheer for our main man because...

“WIN OR LOOSE, IT’S CHRIS TIU WE CHOOSE!!!”

True Confessions :: Love the Impossible

Old flames die. Three simple words that are enough to describe how I feel right now. Old flames die. They loose their spark and their light.

I’d rather fall in the arms of the unreachable than being with the impossible someone to fall for you.

You might think I’m overreacting. Don’t worry it’s just an exaggeration on what I feel. Besides, it’s just a crush, OK?

This realization dawned on me when I told my mother about him. She said that it’s better not to have a crush for you’ll never have that guy. The ones who will fall for you are the people you don’t like and the rightful man God chose.

So there, that explains why my special feelings for that someone disappeared. We’ll still remain friends, but not like before. So please, no more teasing and whatever gimmicks you have.

On Cloud Nine..

2006-09-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! The month will soon be over and I only have one post for September. Well, you know my excuse. Hehehe. XD

I'M ON CLOUD NINE!!! Bwahahaha. If I could just shout the reason why, I would have done it a long time ago. Hahaha. XD

Update List!!!

Today's the final day of our Second Mid-Quarter Exams. Yehey! Although it's over, I have an uneasy feeling that my test scores aren't satisfactory enough. It might even affect my standing in the Outstanding Students List. Uh-oh...
Krisza's birthday was a blast! Hahaha. Kantahan to the max! XD
Our poster for the Reading Fair was First Runner-Up! Yehey! What's even better is that one of the Third Year sections (III - Charity) was the Champion! Double yehey! Just a few more competitions, we will finally get a taste of being the Best Batch this year! :D
Last but not the least, the biggest news of all...WE'RE MOVING TO A NEW HOUSE SOON! I'm so excited! Everyone is excited! The house is really pretty -- especially the facade. And finally, my room will be designed JAPANESE! XD I will also have an aircon. Bwahaha. I can already invite my friends for a sleepover!

I hope my update list is enough for all of you who are anxious on what had happened to me. Toodles! XD

Pixz!!! [Part II]

Me, Mariel, Albie, and Cess..

Take two! :)

Ok, that wraps up our faces! Hahaha..

Song of the Day!!!

Sore Ga Ai Deshou (I Guess That's Love)

From: Full Metal Panic!

*Oh well, I'll just post the English Lyrics. It's really Japanese, but...you get the point*

Even if there are days when the tears roll down my cheeks
I want to have your back all for myself, but

because kindness is also cruel sometimes
I lose sight of the answer the more I search for it

If you can see the rainbow in the town after the rain
let's start walking now, something is about to begin

Because I have you, because I have tomorrow
because I can't live on all alone
I feel you so close by me, I guess that's love
Because you know how much pain tears can bring
I want to find a smile in your transparent eyes
as I search for a definite meaning in them

Although it'd be good if these feelings found their way into your heart

The colour of the town changes little by little but
see, our memories have again increased by one

Because now I can embrace every word that you said
I'm sure that we'll come closer to each other
I guess that's love
Even if a tomorrow that nobody knows is waiting for us
it's all right, don't cry anymore
we'll join hands
and keep walking on forever

It isn't something that builds up in an instant
but a feeling that grows a little at a time,
the feeling called love

Pixz!!! XD

2006-09-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

Finally, my beaming smiles and crazy laughters have returned. I'm back to normal again. I guess I was just overreacting at the whole incident that I didn't realize I was wrong already. Anyway, thanks to Johanna for talking some sense into me.

"So, how did it go?" -- you would probably ask. Headline: WE WON!!! Yup, we are the champions. After all that we have been through, as a class and individually, this is the fruit. The power of prayer is amazing!

Thank You, Lord, for being with us through thick and thin. Thank You for hearing our prayers.

As for myself, Third Outstanding Student and surprisingly, First in Deportment. It was really a surprise for me because I wasn't active lately in the leadership sector. However, I remembered the criteria that our adviser told us. It isn't based only on leadership anymore, it's your whole character. At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to meet those standards, but I guess other people just see me in a different way than how I see myself sometimes. My mom also told me that leadership isn't really about standing in front and being under control. Anyway, I'm proud of what I have achieved. :D

PIXZ TIME!!!

Tuwing sasapit ang dilim..naghahasik na ng lagim..hahaha.. XD

Marco, Eduardo, Albie, Cess, Marc T., Recyn, and MC

(additionals: Dennis, Apo, and Candy)

First part of the Third Year pixz.. I'll post the others next time..n_n..

Help Me...

2006-08-24T02:44:00.000-07:00

I want to hold on, but I need to let go...

I dropped everything on the table. I had enough and I don't want to continue any longer. I know this can make me lose my deportment, but I can't stand it any longer. Watching them practice with their new and more respected leader a while ago made me cry. I have come to realize that I couldn't be a good leader. Those awards of leadership in the past are all buried now. They even seem like it was only a dream. Leadership is too much for me, especially when the people around you don't give you any respect.

On the bright side, someone shared the same pain I felt. I didn't expect it to be her, but I was glad it was her. She too feels disrespected and other people in which she named. I envy her for not even caring about the whole thing even though it hurts her. What finally made me smile were the things she said. I don't remember all, but those words were enough to lift my burden a little. Recyn, thank you for making me feel better. I probably would still be crying if you didn't talk to me. :)

My burden was lifted a little bit, so I am not fully happy and back to my normal self. Help me smile. Help me laugh. Help me to feel really better. It doesn't matter who you are, but I just need somebody to bring back the real me...

My 100th Post..

2006-08-22T04:50:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy, busy, busy. Good thing there are days for vacation. :) Ok, time for the updates.

Last Week:

*blush* <-- I don't want to think about about what happened last week. It really made me blush..ehem..

"As much as possible, limit encounters with him..."

My thought after last week: "What if the 'encounter' is always the one coming near me?"

Ok, enough of that...

Yesterday:

Ooohhh...I bet those clouds are heading for Manila.

The lights are so beautiful! :D [Royale Tagaytay Clubhouse]

My sister and my dad..

Stars, stars, and more stars. It's amazing how they managed to place them up there...

People say we look alike..:D

Number 1 and Number 2..

2006-08-11T00:49:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't know where to start.

One year had elapsed since he caught my attention. One year had elapsed since I noticed how charming he was. There were numerous instances that happened between us, even I can't seem to remember all. Over the summer, my heartbeat rose to a new level. We grew a lot closer than before. I kept my friendly face even though it hurts me inside. I thought I was lying to him and to myself. Yet, he was there making my day seem brighter. A smile is always plastered on my face whenever I feel his presence, even with just a simple "hi" or hello". He became my inspiration, even with the perspectives on what my heart says.

I never knew that he would come back. I even forgot all about him. It had been almost five years since he left. Who would ever thought that someone would come back after such a long period of time? When he returned, I noticed how he has changed. He wasn't that smart anymore. He has even become one of "the boys" (you probably know what I mean, don't you?). He grew into a "Super D" person. He has become to proud of himself. The list goes on. He just isn't that cute boy I had a crush on in my elementary years. I was stuck with another one, so I thought it would be impossible for me not to fall for him anymore. My own pillow betrayed me. We grew close, somewhat similar to the closeness I have with the other. He began to tease and joke around me, making me ride along. Our personalities somewhat match. And physically speaking, I love his eyes. They are not the kind of eyes you usually see. We became too close, making my "rival" kind of jealous. But, he used you! Have you even thought about that?! Yes, I thought about that. However, I don't know why how the past came back.

Masaya na ako kay Number 1, ngunit si Number 2 ay bumalik. Kapag wala si Number 1, si Number 2 ang nagpapaligaya sa akin and vice versa. Bakit tuwing kailan masaya ako sa isa, saka sisingit naman ang isa?

- Me

Kung mahal mo talaga siya, patunayan mo sa akin. Pababalikin ko si Number 2.

- God

He wants to tell me something through Number 1 and Number 2.

Di mo lang alam, ako'y iyong nasaktan..

2006-08-04T05:17:00.000-07:00

Up Dharma Down

Di mo lang alam, naiisip kita

Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako

Di mo lang alam, hanggang sa gabi

Inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang

Panahon at ngayon ako'y iyong iniwang

Luhaang, sugatan't, di mapakinabangan

Sana nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang

Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon

Ako'y naririto pa rin hanggang ngayon, para sa iyo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya

Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta

Kung ako'y nagkasala, patawad na sana

Ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

Wooh...

Di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang

Puro siya na lang, sana'y ako naman

Di mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan

Sana'y iyong mamalayang

Hindi mo lang pala alam

Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang

Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan

Baka sakali lang, maisip mo namang ako'y nandito lang

Hindi mo lang alam, matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo

Sa laro na ito ay dapat bang sumuko

Sana'y di ka na lang pala aking nakilala

Kung alam ko lang ako'y 'yong masasaktan ng ganito

Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

Wooh...

Malas mo...

Ikaw ang natipuhan ko

Di mo lang alam, ako'y iyong nasaktan

Obviously dedicated to a certain person, Mr. The One Gone. Nasasaktan nga ako everytime naririnig ko yung kantang yan sa radyo. Explain ko yung mga naka-underline:

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang/Panahon at ngayon ako'y iyong iniwang/Luhaang, sugatan't, di mapakinabangan...Ako'y iyong nasaktan = practically explains everything. Akala ko na maaring bumalik yung pagtitinginan namin sa isa't isa, pero nasaktan nga ako..
Puro siya na lang, sana'y ako naman/Di mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan = di ko maiwasang magselos na mas napapansin niya siya na halatang nagkakandarapa sa kanya..
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang/Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan = since kaklase ko naman siya, I consider him a friend as well. Bumabalik lahat sa akin especially pag pinagtitripan niya ako. Kinakanchawan nga namin ang isa't isa kanina eh..
Sana'y di ka na lang pala aking nakilala/Kung alam ko lang ako'y 'yong masasaktan ng ganito = nahulog ang loob ko sa kanya at yun pala sasaktan niya ako...kahit di niya alam..

Nagbago talaga siya. Hindi na siya yung taong nakilala ko. Kung ganun man lang, nagbago narin ang tingin ko sa kanya.

Manggagamit.

Out for Some Time..

2006-08-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

Haii salamat at nakapag-computer muli ako! :) Pasensya na, ang dami ko kasing ginagawa eh. Napapagod na nga ako eh, plus the most terrifying is...nagkakaroon na ako ng dark circles and eyebags sa mata ko!!! Waaahhh..nagkakandalosya-losya na beauty ko!!! Hehehe..lakas ng tama ko noh?!?! Bwahahaha..

So, ano ang nangyari sa akin for the past weeks? Hmm..dami eh. Sabihin ko na lang mga highlights:

Pinili ako bilang isa sa mga emcees sa First Quarter Convocation namin! Yehey! Natupad narin ang matagal ko nang pinapangarap! :D
I felt proud of myself with all the achievements I did -- the keyboard made out of colorful sponges (hehe..) and the poem recitation.
Ang ganda ng concert ng Pussycat Dolls!! Woohoo! Well, that is except for the 'blah-blahs' and the 'boo-boos' by some unknown frontliners. Bwahaha..Pussycat Dolls fan na ako!!
Hahaha..lalo akong nai-in love sa kanya!! Ang sweet kasi niya plus ang cute cute niya!! :D

Hahaha..the rest mga patawa at kung anu-anong ka-churvahan (lalo na sa classroom namin)..hahaha.. :D Shocks! Ang lakas talaga ng tama ko ngayon! :D

Binabawi ko na yung sinabi ko..

2006-07-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

My best friend, Pat, has a point. He was clinging unto me for grades. He chose me because he knows I'm good at doing the project. And just like my friend said, if ever he knew about the Math project, he will surely come to me and ask to be his partner.

In other words, nakikisabit lang siya sa grades.

Honestly, I hate those kind of people. It is alright for me to depend on me as long as he/she is doing his/her part well. However, in this case, he is beyong the dependency line. At first, he was okay, but as the weeks go by, he then tells us: "bahala kayo". I hate that kind of answer. Well, for me, it doesn't even sound as an answer. Grr..kung pwede lang sana manapak ng tao, matagal ko nang ginawa yun sa kanya!

He's definitely changed...for the worse. Wala na, binabawi ko na talaga mga sinabi ko noon.

So, since one is gone, then one is left! Hahaha.. XD. Yup, I'll definitely stick to the one left. Bwahahaha..

Haii..naku! Ang cute nya kasi eh. :D And you know something, he is way way better than the one gone. :D

A Song to Share...

2006-07-20T03:26:00.000-07:00

Caged Bird

Miyamoto Shunichi

OST: DNAngel

*[Lyrics are originally Japanese, but I'll just put the English one so you would be able to understand]*

How high would I have to fly

To lose sight of you, so far away?

If I turn my eyes away, I might feel better.

But I want to be looking always at you from somewhere.

Because there's no way I can forget you

At my wits' end, I keep staring up at the sky.

It's almost as if I was like a small bird inside a cage,

Searching for the window, aimlessly wandering around.

I want to see you right away, because I love you

Even though I want to run away because I'm scared of being hurt.

If this unseen barrier around me should tear my wings,

Still, you are so precious to me that it makes me sad.

*[It is much better to hear the music itself. I promise you, it will make you cry.]*

Bakit Ang Babae Mababaw Ang Kaligayahan?

2006-07-14T00:47:00.000-07:00

Hahaha!!! Ang cute ng title noh?!?! Hahaha..mukha na akong anime sa kilig!!! :D

Hehehe..ang sweet niya sakin kagabi. :D Di ko malilimutan ang text niyang toh:

o sya cge slip n tau.. aga p pasOk bkas.. Cge nytie..(smilie face)

Waaahhh!!! Kilig talaga to the max! :D Hindi ie-erase yan! Bwahaha..

Dami rin naming moments kanina (xempers may mga 'extras'..bwahaha)!! :D Shocks! Di ko talaga malilimutan tong araw na toh!! :D

Hahaha..ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko noh?!?! Pasensya na..nag-drugs kasi ako eh..bwahahaha..

Letting My Heart Speak...

2006-07-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

I just need some time to speak about this...

Even though I admit that there are two special people in my life right now, there is a big difference in what I feel. I guess I could agree with the saying, "First love never dies". Haha. It's my first time to have special feelings for two people at the same time.

As much as I want to tell the details, I'd rather keep it a secret especially about the second guy. All I can say is that we complement each other so well. He's like the first one but not quite. Yeah, I have many many rivals (I'm a girl so I know how girls act when they see their crush). I don't have any idea what kind of girl he likes, but...I'll just let things unfold. For now, quiet lang ako. :)

Ang Buhay ay Parang Life...

2006-07-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I was busy over the week -- researching for reports, outlining, and even sucking my brains out over problems. Haha. This IS the life.

July 3: Music is Annoying and Irritating

All of us hate our Music teacher. Well, besides that he doesn't explain everything clearly, he is also ma-pride. Grr... annoying and irritating indeed. I hope he meets his match someday.

July 4: Major Disappointment

Last week, I have already stated that I plan on running for P.R.O. in the Student Council Elections. However, things didn't go the way it planned.

After our discussion in Grammar, our subject teacher announced that the administration (in his term, gods and goddesses) didn't approve of having a Student Council. My hopes and visions for the school were shattered. Why? Why did they disapprove this? Don't they know that having a Student Council could be a BIG help in the development of the school? Are they afraid that the Student Council MAY take over the school because of the student population and such? I just couldn't believe them!

July 5: Things That Make You Puke

Since I am sitted near the platform, I am one of the people who experience the best and the worst. The best for you get to understand a topic more vividly than sitting at the back, and the worst meaning discussions that make you want to go out of the classroom.

Boys love this. Girls are well, ashamed and disgusted of it. Haha. The-three-letter-word education. Yeah, it makes us (girls) sick to the bones, especially when your teacher is a guy.

This week's topic was all about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). We were lucky for there weren't any pictures in our book, but the descriptions are enough to make your stomach turn. Since I was one of the maarte people, our teacher suddenly shoved his college book (with pictures of some STD's, black and white) right in front of my face! Grr... I hate him for doing that! And if you ask me, I only took a few bites out my lunch because of that.

July 6: Wala Munang Pansinan

For the meantime, I'll be suplada to him. If he asks or he is the first to talk, fine, I'll talk. Men are sometimes egoistic.

July 7: Teacher for 80 Minutes

I love to report! I get so giddy and excited whenever I am asked to report something. Hahaha.

I was the assigned reporter in discussing Converses, Inverses, and Contrapositives (Math). I did the research just Wednesday for I thought that I'll be reporting tomorrow. Hahaha.

I had a huge smile on my face when our teacher praised me for the way I report and how complete it was. I was even happy to realize that my classmates listened and understood everything. Those simple actions are enough to touch my heart. I'm the type of person who likes to be praised and is respected (not only me, but EVERYONE). Some asked questions that made me enjoy more. They're interested. I successfully caught their attention that I thought I can't do.

He's back to his old self, although a little bit epal in a way. But, anyway, he told me that my report was good. Hehehe. Even though I am surrounded with numerous girls who are falling for him, I'll never go beyond the line. I'll never put a foot forward. In addition, he is one of my toughest rivals in the Honor Roll, and I'll never allow him to reach #1 before I do.

Next Wednesday marks the beginning of our First Mid-Quarter Exams. Hehehe. I made a deal with my mother that I enjoyed thinking. If I got grades that are satisfactory to me and them, we'll all "Pirates of the Carribean 2". Hahaha. I've got a celebrity crush in that movie!

Musta ka na, Cheska?

2006-07-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

Hahaha..one week of no news from me. :D

I am glad to be able to blog right now (even though I still got three requirements to finish and one report to do :D ). I'm so busy over the weekdays that I hardly have any time for myself and also...for God. :(

Back to the puyat life again. (sigh) Even though I do have a schedule, I still sleep late. Waaahhh!!! Paano ako tatangkad niyan?!?! Yeah, I sleep 5-6 hours a day instead of the required 8 hours. Gosh! I miss my boring life during the vacation.

However, this point of time isn't yet half of my real, hectic life. Last Thursday, our Grammar teacher told us about the election of Student Council Officers. After discussing the positions for candidacy, I began to choose what position should I run for: Vice Governor (Vice President), P.R.O. , or Level Representative. Finally, after discussing it at home with my parents I decided to run for P.R.O. Not bad, right?

I plan on joining other co-curricular activities such as COCC and the Journalism Staff. Hahaha. I always tell myself, "Sige na, Cheska, minsan ka lang makaranas ng High School. Sa college, hindi mo na magagawa yan." Hahaha. Busy, busy, busy me.

How's your heart? -- ah, a question some of you might ask. Haha. Actually, I'm fine right now after days of battling with my conscience and my perspective on having a crush and falling in love. I'm also glad that I still have time for matters like that (although I know some of you would say it's unecessary). I know some you might get worried for me again, but I'll be careful, although, I can't promise you that.

Guard your heart -- that's what you always say, but I'll never stop listening to it.

Enough said of everything. I got to get back to my studies or else I won't get to achieve the one goal I have for this year.

Bye! :)

The Trouble with Love...

2006-06-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

This doesn't feel right, but this is the truth...is it?

I know it isn't right to feel this 'feeling' inside, but what can I call it? I don't know. I just feel uncomfortable and uneasy whenever I think of that 'genuine smile' on my face. It doesn't seem right. Ok, visualize this:

You love eating your favorite crackers. Because of this, you eat a pack almost everyday. All of a sudden, you saw a commercial about new crackers. The advertisement was so great, it made you want to buy it. So, the following grocery day, you asked your mother to buy that new crackers you saw on TV.

I don't know where the heck I got that idea, but here's a much simpler example:

You have a younger brother who loves playing those robot toys that make noisy sounds, walk then tumble, and can only raise its arms. After a day in school, you were surprised to see those toys scattered on the floor. Frustrated, you try to find your brother to pick up his own mess. Surprise! Surprise! You saw your younger brother playing online games in your family computer.

Ok, I hope you get the idea now. Well, what I'm pointing out is that...you used to like/love this but then you shift to another in a blink of an eye. I hope I'm getting somewhere with what I'm saying.

I feel terrible with all these emotions, thoughts, and others jammed inside my small frame. Haii...
I definitely need help on this one.

Fate Can Be Cruel...

2006-06-22T04:12:00.000-07:00

Fate is cruel. You have no control of your destiny nor your life.

I don't want to be that someone. I don't want getting myself hurt again.

I've said those words because those were true. However, I feel my heart is on the line right now. I can't take those words back again.

That genuine smile is meant for only him but... it appeared when I'm with the other.

Am I being tested?

First Day High!!! :D

2006-06-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

Hahaha..it isn't really the song. I was really on high!!! :D

Third Year. Haii...nakakapanibago. Haha. Kahit kami-kami parin, naninibago parin ang ilan sa amin dahil parang di pa kami kararapat-dapat na tawagin Third Year. Well, not in a way na di talaga karapat-dapat pero pag tinawag kasi kaming ganun, parang ang tanda na namin. Haha. Ewan ko. Basta, parang ganun yung nararamdaman namin. :)

30 na kami sa class!!! Haha. Siksikan kami!!! Yeah, I'm overwhelmed with the fact on how many we are. Dami kasi bago pati mga 'lumang-bago'. May tatlong baguhan - isang noypi at dalawang 'Jang Geum' (pero yung isa lalakeng-lalake, basta mga Koreans sila). Tatlo rin ang mga lumang-bago - isang girl na maaring maging kalaban ko sa Honor Roll (hehe...), isang lalake na dati ko na naging kaklase at kaibigan, and get this - ang first crush ko sa school. Hahaha.. "muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibig..." Haha.

Yeah, the last was a shocker for me, because he was gone for four years. Now, he's come back...bummer. Well, I thought he was gone (for good :D) because I would have less rivals for the Honor Roll, unfortunately, things didn't go the way I planned. Haha. Bumalik na siya kung kailan meron na akong iba. Bwahahaha..

I expect that this year would be the toughest. With the Honor Roll and Entrance Exams preparation on the line, it will be really tough. However, I'm stepping up to the challenge. I love challenges and nothing can't stop me from reaching my goals. :D

I Can't Believe I'm Already Third Year..

2006-06-13T00:30:00.000-07:00

Before that...

...When I think of you

I don't know what to do

When will I see you again

I miss you like crazy

Even more than words can say

I miss you like crazy

Every minute of every day

...I miss you, miss you, miss you

I miss you like crazy

...Can't you see how I feel

Can't you see that my pain's so real

When I think of you

I don't know what to do

When will I see you again

Obviously, I was LSS-ed. However, I do feel that way for someone. Yeah, I miss him so much that all I can do is to pray for him. Ok, enough of beeing senti...

Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow will be the day. Tomorrow, I will finally be a Third Year student, and I do feel being old. Strange, I feel excited. I don't know. I just feel that way. Hahaha..

I hope everything will go smoothly tomorrow. I just don't want to start the year wrong. Hehehe..

Sipon! Sipon! Go Away! Come Again Another Day...

2006-06-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

Blame it on the changing climate..haii..

Anyway, let's forget about the colds for a moment. As you all know, I was in Baguio with my family (minus my dad who was on a business trip in Indonesia). We enjoyed our stay there (except for the fact that there were sooooo many people!). One of my favorite parts of our stay was when we went to the old amphitheater or much commonly known now as the "Historical Core". Hehehe.. it doesn't have much flowers like before but it was still a sight to see.

Here are a few pics from the places we visited:

Hehe.. I sure love the arch effect! :D (Ate Maricel [our helper], Me, and Bea)

My sister and I still in Botanical Garden..

Hehehe..I love this pic! :D

That's enough for today. My internet server has a huge problem. Sorry, poor lang kami eh. Dial-up lang. I'll post more pics tomorrow or sometime within the week. :)

This Week's Events...

2006-05-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, let's get down to business...

May 29: Jillion's Despedida Party..

Haha..actually it wasn't really a despedida party. It was more of a get-together before he left to Surigao. Aww..we will all miss him. There were many of us..pwamiz! Ehem..let me name them - Jillion, Osan, Me, Jethro, Jec, Wiley, and Kuya Merill, then followed by Pito, then again followed by, Ate R. A., Kuya Lemuel, Krizsa, Mark, Kuya Osep, and Myk (who stayed only for a while). Hehehe..dami namin noh?! I hope I didn't forget anyone. :)

Hahaha..daming happenings!!! :D Sayang ala me photos na pwed ilagay dito...

May 30: My Sister's Recital..

We practically stayed there for the whole day. The recital was great (except for the few numbers which was a total disaster). Bwahahaha..I can sometimes be so cruel.

Sorry for the shortness of everything. I just don't feel like blogging right now. By the way, I'll be away for 4 days starting tomorrow. We are going to Baguio (due to my sister's demand..hehehe). That also means that I won't be attending church. So, that's people! See ya! :D

Emotions at Rest...

2006-05-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying that my 'emotional turmoil' is over. Yes, there is more to come. A LOT more to come. However, I finally got rid of those thoughts as well as those unstable emotions. This is already the end of the line.

We had a lot of conversations a while ago. Miraculously, I controlled them. I put on the usual face and didn't show any sign. I guess some people were right. I may look like a 14-year old, but I have a mind of a 16-year old.

You would probably ask if that would be a compliment or an insult. Well, of course, I take it as a compliment. I usually like looking, thinking, and even acting more mature even when I was at a young age. Hahaha...probably I have this instinct in me that tells me that I should be sure in everything I do.

Anyway, I felt good with what I did. I didn't want to sacrifice the one thing that binds us together. Even though he doesn't tell me exactly, I know that he values me as an important friend in different ways. So, why waste it? Yes, it isn't bad to sacrifice something precious especially for the sake of other people, but what I'm pointing out here is that I might sacrifice something very valuable to both of us for the sake of what my heart desires only and not what he desires. It's that thing called selfishness.

I'm just glad I could go on with my life without that thought bugging me every now and then. I'm also glad that I can finally control my feelings towards other people. :)

The Wait is Over..n_n..

2006-05-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, before the highlight of this post, I just want to thank you all (especially to Ate Karen who made an effort to come to my house just to talk to me about my current situation, and Ate Ai who is always there, helping me smile through her tags) for making me feel a lot better. Even though I admit I am not yet 100% OK, but through your kind words, the pain in my heart is slowly fleeting away.

Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for everything.

Ehem...due to insistent public demand (particularly from Lola Ai [hehe..jowk lang! :D]), I now present you my Youth Summer Camp Testimony! Yehey! :D

Words aren’t enough to explain or even describe the joy and happiness I felt during the camp. Every time I reminisce those days, I feel like traveling back in time and witnessing all the happenings.

During our last day in camp, some of us were asked to describe SAKTO or our experience during the camp in a single word. I thought about it for a moment and, finally, my mind came up with the right word I was looking for. For me, the experience was LIFE CHANGING. I got out of my shell and made friends especially to my cabin mates. It was kind of awkward at first for almost all of us had the same steady personality. However, we couldn’t contain ourselves resulting to a sisterly bond. I also came to know people who became close to my heart for a short period of time. They were my group mates in various activities. Most of them gave me a good laugh, thanks to their hilarious personalities. And of course, letting myself grow continually in Christ.

In part of this growth was a burning passion to share God’s Word. I wanted to share the gospel to my classmates before, but something was holding me back. With the help of our Peer-to-Peer Session, the once little flame has now turned into a huge one. I learned new strategies in challenging peers to respond to the truth of God’s Word, focusing on being the influencer and not the influenced, and what to do if the person is unresponsive to your intention of sharing of the gospel, which is probably one of the main reasons that hinders me from sharing God’s Word. I want my “lost” friends know Christ like I’ve known Him. I want them to experience how wonderful it is to have Jesus Christ in my life.

My eyes are now opened. I am more determined and more confident than ever. I have now set my goal that this coming school year I will be able to share the good news to a few of my friends and help them continue to grow in Christ. This is what I want to do. This is what I will do.

Oh, how I wish I could go back in time. I’ve learned a lot of things and even developed into someone that I didn’t know I could be. I am looking forward to join the next camp. Sa ngayon, alam ko SAKTO na ako sa mata ng Panginoon.

Ayan na ang inaabangan mo Ate Ai! Hehehe...

Thanks for the Concern...

2006-05-25T00:54:00.000-07:00

Honestly speaking, I never thought many of you would get worried over my latest post. I was touched with everyone who were concerned over my dilemma.

Thank you, Ate Ai and Ate Karen. Thank you so much.

I feel quite ashamed right now. I've made almost all of you worry. I'm sorry.

Days have past and I am slowly getting better. I guess your prayers are now answered. Thank you so much for the prayers as well as the concern. Thank you. :)

Emotional Turmoil...

2006-05-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

Confusion of my heart...

How can you stay TRUE to that person, to yourself, and to your feelings?

If I cover them up, am I doing a LIE?

LOVE...

I don't know how to stay true on both sides...

Last Night's Tears

2006-05-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

I could be a called a 'drama queen' if I continued crying like last night...

I woke up in the morning, tortemented on what I did last night. I cried to the Him again. I can't tell anybody what I felt yesterday, so I poured my heart to the very best friend a person can ever have. I remembered what I told Him. I didn't like what I'm feeling. I know a Christian shouldn't feel what I felt yesterday. It was wrong -- so wrong. I felt like I've hurt Him. I couldn't contain the tears and started to pray other matters that continued to bother my heart and my mind. I am so torn.

You would probably think I'm the girl without any worries because I always smile and laugh. You see, I'm only wearing a mask and it's beginning get tough for me to pretend for I am not born like that. I am a person who's very transparent, so it's so difficult to be in a situation wherein I have to fake it. It's easy to fake it, but difficult to stay true.

I am in a battle between my selfishness and what is right in God's eyes...

"Lord, I'm very sorry for what I felt and even thought yesterday. I pray that you would forgive me for my selfishness. I pray that you would help me in the next emotional and spiritual battles in the future."

Love Song for a Savior

Jars of Clay

In open fields of wild flowers,

she breathes the air and flies away

She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses

in no simple language

Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips

Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call her and she will come running

and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best

The sermon echoes through the walls

A great salvation through it calls to the people

who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips

Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call us and we will come running

and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",

Not close enough to call you "God"

So as I sit and think of words I can mention

to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"My heart beats for You"

I feel like crying again. I'm sorry if I can't tell everything.

This is my first time to share my most innermost thoughts and feelings...

Laughter: The Best Way to Make Your Tummy Hurt..

2006-05-20T02:44:00.000-07:00

Sayang at di nyo mababasa ang title ng post na toh..

Another C-R-A-Z-Y day, I guess. Seems every passing day blows my head away.

Summer is almost ending, so it is to my Ballroom Summer Workshop. (Actually, it already ended.) I'm going to miss dancing those complicated steps and the beautiful choreography. Haii..sarap pala sumayaw, at ngayon ko lang na-appreciate. Inaamin ko na hindi naman ako talagang dancer. In fact, I don't have the lines and of course, the body. However, it seems I found the dance that could probably be suited for me. I do not intend to dance professionally like those who are joining in international competitions, but ballroom could be a form of recreation and even a hobby. I want to dance Ballroom again. I want to dance like the ones I watched during my recital a while ago. They were so good...very, very good. I'll be back in the Ballroom dance floor. I know I will because I'm interested to take regular classes. :)

After my recital, I was off to church for Ate Karen told me that our COC was about to do something. I thought it was going to be about the fellowship, but it turned out that it was one of the girls in LC, Rose. It was her birthday! Hehehe.. :D Wala kami actually ginawa dun kundi tumawa ng tumawa (of course, kumain din kami. Sarap nga ng kakanin eh! :D) Ewan ko ba kung bakit, bastah, feeling ko lahat ng tao dun (lalo na si Anding) nasisiraan ng bait! Hehehe..

Sori kung di ko masyado ma-share, but that's practically all of it! :D

Ito nalang ang iiwan ko sa inyo........................................................

"HUWAG MO SIYANG AGAWIN SAKIN!"

"DON'T WORRY, CHESKA. SAYONG-SAYO NAMAN SIYA."

Hehehe..wala lang. Babye! ;)

i miss u and navigation probLems..

2006-05-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of matters to blog about...

Let's start first with the Navigation problem concerning my blog. Everything is alright, since my father and I don't see any problem. I hope you people would get to access my entries already. :)

Second, missing a certain somebody results an unexpected surprise. Yeah, I was missing somebody terribly. Good thing, I got over it with the help of my craziness over Jun Matsumoto (Shin Sawada) of "Gokusen". Well, who wouldn't if get to see guy like him? Just take a look...

Hehehe..not bad, right?:D Well, that was until last night. I was finally relieved that he was alright and just made a minor mistake. Hahaha..God really knows how to put on great jokes. :D However, I still learned a lesson that I hope I wouldn't forget: Don't be a such a pessimist!

A Not-So-Usual Conversation..

2006-05-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

I can't help but being bothered..

Yesterday, my besty (Myk) and I talked on the phone on a number of important matters. He asked me some questions that I am still bothered about. Haii..di ko talaga maintindihan. Di ba dapat kung may love life ka, eh masaya ka? Bakit sa akin di ganun, mas naging problemado pa! Haii..

There were two of his questions that I didn't answer. I can answer his question, but I don't know if it is right or wrong. I'm really bothered until now.

Advice for girls who are younger than me: DON'T FALL IN LOVE YET..

SAKTO!!!; ONE year na blog ko!!!

2006-05-08T05:01:00.000-07:00

Yahoo!!! ONE year na ang blog ko!!! :D Blowout! Blowout! Joke lng..:P

Hehe..tagal ko na di nakapag-update. Madalas kasi akong tamarin o naman kaya busy sa pag-aasikaso sa mga fanfiction stories na ginagawa ko. Haii..anyway, I have to admit na na-miss ko blog ko.. (Awww...).

So, what's with this month's theme? Kung napansin niyo may pieces of lyrics dyan sa may taas at baba ng blog ko, well, tama kayo dyan! Actually, lyrics yan ng kanta ni Michelle Branch na "Everywhere". Yeah, it is a love song, but I decided to give it a different meaning. Instead of a certain guy (wala akong tinutukoy kaya wag na kayo mag-isip pa..), it is GOD who I see everywhere. Tinamaan nga ako dun sa part na nagsasabi: "when I close my eyes, it's you I see". So, ayun, I like that part the most. :)

Yung tungkol naman sa aking "Welcome Note", actually di naman talaga "Voice of Truth" ang dapat. I was thinking of a song na magfi-fit nga dun sa message ng lyrics pero naisipan ko na matatagalan at mahihirapan pa ako. Finally, I came up with "I Believe in You" sang by Il Divo and Celine Dion. Nung una ko siya narinig sa TV (actually theme song ito ng chinovela na "Eternal Love"), naiyak ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero I think it was because the lyrics was too beautiful. Kung papakinggan niyo pa yung song itself, maluluha rin kayo. Pwamiz!

Anyway, enough said about my blog. Excited na ako ikwento sa inyo ang experience ko sa naganap na Youth Summer Camp nung May 2-5 sa Rizal Re-Creation Center. Ehem...

Words not enough to express the happiness I had during the camp. I don't know. A mixture of emotions just keep sweeping me off my feet. Everytime I reminisce those days, I feel like I'm there all over again.

If I were to describe my experience, it was indeed Life-Changing. I developed friendships without any need of letting them approach me and went out of my circle. I also came to know people who became close to my heart for a short period of time. And of course, letting myself grow in Christ.

My life is slowly starting to change. I now have this passion in me to share God's Word and be part of The Great Commission. My eyes are now opened. I am now more confident than ever. This is what I want to do. This is what I will do.

Now the camp has ended, I hope and I pray to see the youth do what they have learned during the "Sessions". I also pray for the people who I don't usually see in church attend Sunday School and Youth Gatherings not because their friends are there, but develop a passion for serving God like I do now. Last but not the least, I pray as well that the Youth Ministry would continue to live on with such activities such as this.

To the people behind this event, I am truly grateful for what have you done to many young people such as me. Ngayon, alam ko SAKTO na ako sa mata ng Panginoon.

There and then. That is my short testimony about my experience in SAKTO camp. I am now looking forward to attend the next camp! :D

By the way, bago ako umalis, I just want to thank a friend of mine who had been used by God to answer my prayer.

"Pito, kapateed! Kahit di mo alam, naging malakas ang tama sakin yung sinabi mo dun sa blog mo about na may nagtanong sayo kung wala ka makita maganda sa buhay ng isang tao. Thank you sa advice mo kapateed! Ang sinabi mo afterwards became an answered prayer when I cried to the Lord last night. Thank you, thank you, thank you! "

Ayun lang..see yah next time!!! :D

Tagaytay. Cable TV. and BULALO!!! (Yummm!!!)

2006-04-16T01:34:00.000-07:00

My post titles are getting wackier! Well, probably I'm still in the middle of a hangover! :P

Last Thursday was one of my most awaited summer escapades -- having an overnight stay in Tagaytay! (Too bad it was only an overnight stay, my sister and I wanted to stay there for two or three days.) Early in the morning, we left the house and proceeded to the highway. Thank God for the traffic wasn't so terrible! :) We didn't get to the place right away because daddy wanted to show us something. My mind wondered until we reached South Forbes Golf City in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. It isn't a subdivision like you have in mind but an all-in-one city. We had a short briefing on the site, then went around the place to take a look at the model houses. My reaction... THEY WERE ALL BEAUTIFUL!!! From the sala to the kitchen, to the bathrooms, then the bedrooms -- every part of the house was beautiful (especially one bedroom that happens to be Japanese-inspired!) However, the cost of all the houses we saw were too high. (Well, they're all mansions, so the price is understandable.)

After touring the place, we ate at Paseo Sta. Rosa then, went straight to Tagaytay. When we arrived at the tourist lodge (which isn't really much a hotel), the view was breathtaking! We could clearly see the volcano as well as the lake that surrounds it. The room wasn't that big (having only a single bed, so my sister and I needed a mattress), the bathroom was also small, but one thing my sister and I are happy about was the cable TV! (Woohoo!) Now we could watch Animax! Hehehe...

We rested for a little while then, went to the zoo in Residence Inn. The were quite a number of animals although, my mother pities them for they look sick. We had fun looking and playing with the animals (especially the baby tiger, Julianna). Of course, I couldn't forget about the wandering male peacock who I think was looking his mate! Bwahahaha... The Bachelor: Peacock Style!!! :)

The day was slowly fading away and so was my energy. I wanted to sleep, but my parents insisted to go to Leisure Farms. When we got there, it was so peaceful! The air was fresh, the flowers are in bloom and come in various hues -- the place was a perfect paradise.

When the night conquered the day, daddy decided to eat at one of the best Bulalo restaurants in the place. In the middle of our wait for the delicious food, the electricity almost all over Tagaytay broke down! We ate candlelight dinner but not for long for the wind kept on killing the flame. Good thing there was an emergency light bulb. After finishing the meal in my plate, I went out of the hut and looked up in the sky. There were so many stars! Every one of them was vividly sparkling as if they were diamonds. It was a full moon that night with its light showering upon the grounds, allowing us to see.

The electricity was back at 10:30 pm. My parents went to sleep ahead of us. Even though my eyes are slowly starting to fall, I joined my sister on watching a few shows in Animax. We then, slept at 11:45, probably because of the coldness.

We all woke up on our usual time in the morning. We ate breakfast inside the room (take-out from McDo). Our check-out time was 1:30 pm, so that only means we still have enough time to enjoy the freezing temperature of the room as well as the view. We took pictures, went back to sleep, and suddenly came across Narnia (we watched the Chronicles of Narnia in one of the channels, when there was nothing good in Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and Animax).

Before heading on to Manila, we visited one of daddy's friends in a subdivision along the way. We stayed there quite long then, went to Sonya's Garden. The place was really pretty with all the flowers and plants. We then, had a number of stopovers causing us to arrive home late afternoon.

Then and there. I absolutely had a great time in Tagaytay. It wasn't only the coldness I will never experience in the city, nor the Cable TV that I wish we had, nor the Bulalo which filled our tummies -- it was that marvelous feeling of seeing God's creation. The view was indeed magnificent. Along the way, we saw mountains covered in a sea of greens. It was beautiful. It was splendid. My parents and my sister wanted to go back there and stay much longer, so was I.

Bakit ang init sa Pilipinas?!?!?!?!

2006-04-10T04:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, everyday I complain about the heat that gets more and more scorching than ever. Yuck! I even smell so odd and disgusting.

Even though I'm happy with the fact that school days are finally over, there are new problems I have to face.

Ichi, I keep on doing the same routine all over again. (Although, sometimes we get to go out of the house to shop or just to amuse ourselves. :D)
Ni, THE HEAT IS KILLING ME!!!!!
San, NO SCHOOL DAYS, NO ALLOWANCE. Waaahhh!!! (Somehow, I had already managed this problem. However, it's still small. :D)

Although, the second one is still driving me crazy, I enjoyed some of the past days.

March 31 (Friday):

It was me and my sister's Recognition Day. Mine was in the morning while hers was in the afternoon. The First in Deportment award stayed with me until the end and I had maintained my spot in the Outstanding Students List -- 4th in the whole Second Year. Later that afternoon, my parents and I are very proud for Bea because she received the Logical Mathematical Award, the Leadership Award, and qualified for the Directress' List in their class (similar to Dean's List). It seems I'm not the only one who was spoiled by God, my sister, too! :D

April 3 (Monday):

Mommy, Bea, and I watched Ice Age 2 in Greenhills Promenade. The movie was crazy! And since there were only a few people watching, we were laughing really loud. We also got to check out "Fully Booked". There were a lot of great books there! There's a collection that caught my eye and I'm really eager to buy it next time.

April 8 (Saturday):

I was practically a bit sleepy when I attended a meeting involving the Youth Ministry in our church. I was happy that Osan was there, because I was quite worried that there wouldn't be someone I could talk to. After the meeting, I attended my piano class and got to know that the recital might be held on May 27. I then, proceeded to church where Osan, Krizsa, and I will meet because later we'll have a sleepover at Osan's house. Unfortunately, Osan and I didn't get to go home right away because her mother has something to do, so we amused ourselves watching various music videos of Japanese artists in youtube. I grew even happier when I got to watch an episode of "Prince of Tennis" (Episode 98 to be exact). It was one of the most awaited episodes that I wanted to watch because there were a lot of scenes to laugh about. Hehehe...sadista talaga si Inui! :D

We finally got to Osan's house and surprisingly, Krizsa was there! We stayed in Osan's room all-day, just playing PS2 until we were fed up and tired (take note: we played PS2 until 3am, I think). We didn't get to sleep right away. There were revelations and crazy conversations, laughs and more laughs. Grabe, nababaliw si Osan! We finally surrendered to sleep at (I think) 4am or past. Yehey! Another new record! :D

Everything's alright, except for the fact that there isn't anymore "Prince of Tennis" in QTV. (Waaahhh!!! Nabitin ako!!! Tezuka!!!) Anyway, I'll still update! ;)

The First Week of My Summer Vacation..

2006-03-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

I apologize for not updating for a week..

This Week's Happenings:

March 20 (Monday):

It was our Clearance Day and the final day where we get to experience being a High School Sophomore. On the first part of the day, everyone was busy trying to get teachers sign their clearances, pass the remaining requirements, and set up for the party happening in the classrooms.

After all that has been said and done, it was time for the biggest event happening in our campus -- the first ever Band Festival. This event was suggested by the high school students (not to mention almost all of the boys in our class) and was carried out by the teachers (which they think was pretty cool) then to the principal. Surprisingly, our principal allowed us and was even excited (although, the event only happened in the Masbate campus and not on the other side).

Two bands performed onstage - the "Band-Aid", which was composed of the First Year students and our very own, "Souled Out". The FY did a great job having the audience all hyped-up, until it was time for the "Souled Out". They sang a number of OPM songs from famous bands like Hale and Kamikazee.

The most unforgettable part of the program was when the band sang "Narda" (originally by Kamikazee). Everyone (especially the Lower Grades) stood up and sang along with the band! Wow, it felt like the school was shaking because of all the energy! It really RoKzZz..!!

That time, everyone was having the time of their lives even the teachers (young and old). You could clearly see the smiles on their faces and the excitement in everyone's eyes. Then, I thought to myself, "This shouldn't be held only once in a while, but yearly!"

SY 2005 - 2006 has been the most wonderful School Year for all of us -- the Second Year - Wisdom.

Hopefully, when we become Juniors, the fun will never stop...

March 21 - 24 (Tuesday to Friday):

Hehehe..ito ang bago kong pinagkakaguluhan!

Meet Tezuka Kunimitsu of my latest favorite anime, "Prince of Tennis"!

Gwapo niya dba?!

March 25 (Saturday):

Ate Karen joined along by Krizsa had a little chit-chat on the latest happenings in our lives. I was surprised when Ate Karen gave me a CD with a special note behind the CD cover. "Thank you, Ate Karen. Love you!!!"

The Art of Letting Go...

2006-03-19T04:37:00.000-08:00

[These thoughts dated back March 14, '06]...

How can life be so cruel? It all started out in acquaintance. We began to develop communication. Then, I felt like the world crashed down on me.

It was my fault...really. I shouldn't have barged into someone's life. I was wrong -- very wrong.

Last night, I read his message archive in my YM. I missed all his conversations we had. Those smilies, jokes, and even the simple, "eh ikaw? Ano ginagawa mo?" -- everything we talked about became so precious to me. Now, he seems so far away. I couldn't reach him -- no matter how far I could stretch my arms. We met each other's eyes yesterday. I wanted to say "Hi", but he immediately looked away. What's more painful is that the lines on his face showed nothing as well as his eyes.

I guess he really loves her. Even though, he denied the truth to me, I know my eyes are not deceiving me. They are "on". There is even enough proof. It's over. I'm over.

One night, I thought of telling him how I feel for him. He wouldn't care, right? Why would a guy in a relationship care? However, one of my best friend's talked some sense into me. If I told him, I would only hope he could return my feelings. The worst thing is that when the girl gets to know about this, they may split up and I'm the one to blame. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be the one to blame.

Well, the only thing I can do is forget Jim. Yes, I know how much it hurts. It hurts more than being rejected. I thought things would patch up again, but there's no hope at all anymore.

"I'm doing this for both our sakes. Those conversations we had will only be a memory. Thank you for your kindness. It was really nice knowing you. I wish you the best with Honey. Goodbye..."

...Maybe it’s best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

A falling star
Least I fall alone
I can’t explain what you can’t explain
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

~ "It Ends Tonight" by All-American Rejects

Araw ng Parangal..

2006-03-13T00:43:00.000-08:00

I have soared higher...

Wow! Until now, I couldn't believe what just happened. It seems like a dream come true.

A while ago, we had the "Araw ng Parangal" or the giving out of special awards for students. I achieved a total of SIX awards, namely:

Spelling Quiz Bee Champion
First Runner-up in the General Information Quiz Bee
Outstanding Club Member in the Journalism Club
Champion in Copyreading and Headline Writing
Champion in Pagwawasto (Copyreading [Filipino])
Exemplary Student

I am totally speechless. These are too much for me, especially winning the title of "Exemplary Student". Woah! I really don't know what to say.

To tell you the truth, I just only want a few, but God gave me sooo much than what I prayed for. Yeah, I'm sooo spoiled already, but happy with all of these.

I have really soared to greater heights...

Thank You, God for all these blessings you have given to me. Thank you to my parents, who have always supported me through thick and thin. Thank you as well to my classmates and subject teachers who are always there for me. And most of all, thank you to our adviser, Ms. Abad, who believed in me through all these months of learning and experiencing new things in life.

PS:

I just want to share how proud I am to these people:

Pat - for placing 3rd in "Sports Writing"
Jo - for placing 2nd in "News Writing"
Mark Azcuna - for placing 3rd in "Pagsulat ng Balita"; and of course,
Jim - for their team (2nd-Yr Faith) who are the champions in Basketball; for him to be one of the Mythical Five and placing 5th in "Sports Writing"

Congrats to you guyz!!! :)

It Has Been A Week..I Know..

2006-03-11T22:32:00.000-08:00

I apologize for not blogging for a week already. I had been very busy with the schoolwork (see the dark circles around my eyes?) and the computer is always occupied by someone else. I'm sorry...

Anyway, I have to warn you. This post will be very long...

MARCH 4: Family Day (Field Demo)

We had our Field Demo/Family Day in the afternoon. God was so good for not letting the rain pour down even though there are already signs of dark clouds over our heads.

Our performance was a blast! You could clearly see in everyone's faces how they love it so much. One thing that is amazing is that we had great fluidity. Yehey!!! I'm so proud of you guyz!!!

Even though we gave our best shot and ours was one of the best (the 4th Yr had also a great number), I was very disappointed with the scoring system. The judges combined the students' performance and the results of the games and the number of guests per level. It was totally unfair for us. It was all because of the performance of the other two sections. The result of their number pulled us down. It was so unfair because, like I said, we had one of the best dances of the day. It was also biased. The judges were composed of 4 teachers from the other campus, while two from our campus. Of course, you would expect that they are more on the other side. Grr...how I wish the panel of judges were from other schools and the scoring system would be a lot different.

Anyway, I'm glad this was over. For the past weeks, I have been the leader and choreographer of the class. But, this is only the beginning people.

MARCH 6: Foundation Day - Mini Fair

That Monday was our Foundation Day or much better known as the Mini Fair. We, the Sophomores are in charge of the Marriage Booth. I was "on duty" most of the time so you probably could just imagine how many couples I've seen wedded. Our booth usually has the least number of customers, but surprisingly, they were a lot -- not to mention myself.

Yeah, I know, this will be shocker...

I was asking for a plastic bag from one of the kuya's becuase the bottles I collected during that day alone was already giving a pain. Then, two of my friends came to me and warned me that I'm going to be handcuffed. I turned back -- still waiting for that plastic bag. Next thing I knew, I saw Jim and two First Year girls approaching me! I tried to avoid them, but they were too persistent. So , being a natural good girl, I let them do what they want. The two of us walked around the campus -- without talking to each other. Whne I thought my nightmare would be over, we were brought to the Marriage Booth (Oh, I forgot to tell you. Since we are in-charge of the booth, we made a new rule that whenever a couple will be handcuffed, they go straight to our booth.) Along the way, a group of Second Year boys from the other campus approached us and asked Jim who is the girl thathe happens to be handcuffed with. When one of them said my name, I heard another one say, "Ang swerte mo naman Jim!" Great! I just want to pound him and tell him, "Anong maswerte dun?!" or something else. When we finally arrived at the "altar", all of the Second Year students were excited and more "kilig" than we are. In the middle of the ceremony, the "priest" (who happens to be one of the "sira-ulo" people I know), asked one of my class mates if the honeymoon comes before marriage. I know he was serious asking that question, but that really made me laugh. Then, I suddenly felt that there were more and more people surrounding us. Gosh! I was really starting to get embarassed. Anyway, here's my favorite part of the ceremony. instead of just sprinkling the "holy water" over our heads, the "priest" squirted the bottle all over Jim. Hahaha...he was really wet. Then, we had the recieving of rings (I said receiving because Jim just got the ring for himself. On the other hand, I already had one because I got it from a plastic earlier. :p) People urged us to kiss, but thank God for saving my beloved cheeks. Hehehe... We didn't get to sign a marriage contract because they ran out of stock. Thank God! Hahaha...

I know you would ask, "What's the feeling?" Honestly, I felt nothing. No, I'm not naive or numb, it's just probably the fact that it's really over between the two of us.

Although, everyone was so "kilig" over the moment, I know there was one person who isn't -- the girl. When Jim and I passed her along with a classmate, he [the classmate] asked Jim, "Uy Jim! Di ba dapat si Honey yan?" He wasn't joking. I could tell his voicec was really serious. When I looked back at the girl, I could tell the looks of her face that she was quiet, really quiet. Then, like sending a mental message to Jim, I thought, "Oo nga Jim, di ba mas OK pa sayo na si Honey ang ka-handcuff mo?" But I know he didn't want this.

I have a feeling one of my friends are behind this. Well, I hope she's happy now.

I was pissed off from the beginning of that moment 'til minutes after it.

I concealed this side of the story, but right now, I'm ready to reveal it to all of you who have been reading my posts since then. An hour after all that happened above, I sat on one bleacher. I was reviewing for the upcoming General Information Quiz Bee until my thoughts drifted to Jim. I was still angry at him. The memory of what he did to me left a scar in me that stings and burns whenever I see or feel his presence. I looked at the Jail Booth. He was there. I got my cell phone and started to text him saying that there was no use to get angry at him anymore. At first, he was bewilered. But, when I told him that I forgive him already, we were OK again.

I know I have sinned. God took him away from me because He knew he wasn't the right one for me and He's just keeping me away from trouble. But, I don't know what to do. Last thing I knew, I was in a state of confusion.

MARCH 9: Quiz Bee Finals

I could clearly remember that I was quite nervous when I stepped on the grounds of the other campus when we, the finalists, got there for the quiz bee.

The first quiz bee was Spelling. The words were tough. I reviewed well enough, but it seems that only 1% of what I reviewed was given. When they were tallying the scores, I could feel my heart punding in my chest. To my surprise, I won! I'm the Spelling Bee Champion! Yehey!

When all of us thought that the Quiz Bees for the day are over, we were surprised when one of the teachers announced that today the Math and General Information will be held. Of course, we paniced.

We had Math after a minutes of waiting. No comment except for the fact that I'm not really good in Math.

Next was General Information. I have set my mind that I'll challenge myself to become a champion again. Unfortunately, my points weren't enough and there is someone better than me. But, somehow, landed 1st runner-up! Hehehe...not bad!

MARCH 10: Asian Food Festival

This is it. The event we have all been waiting for -- the first Asian Food Festival happening in our school.

There was a lot of tension happening in all of the groups since everyone wanted the prize. (The prize is that you and your group will not take the Finals in AP as well as in THE. It only means your automatically 100 in both. What a prize!) We only had a minimum of 45 minutes and a maximum of 60 minutes to prepare everything. You could just imagine how tense everyone is not to mention the audience as well.

After an hour, it was already time to announce the winners. Our group held hands because we knew we did our best. Here are the results:

Best in National Costume: Group 3 (Japan)

Best in Table Setting: Group 1 (Thailand)

Best in Food Preparation: Group 6 (China)

When the judge announce our group winning the third award, we couldn't contain our happiness! We're already exempted!

Then, our happiness was stopped when we heard that there is still an award for the Over-All Champion.

3rd Place: Group 3 (Japan)

2nd Place: None because there is a special reason...

1st Place: Group 1 and Group 6 (Thailand and China)

A tie! I couldn't believe my ears! We won! Our group won!

This week was the one of the most memorable ones in my life.

"Thank you God for everything you have given me. You have showered me with so much blessings. Even though most of the times I think that you are spoiling me so much, Lord, I'm grateful for everything. Thank you, Lord. Thank you."

I Did It..

2006-03-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things to smile about in this world -- the people who care for you, the feeling of being alive, and the success you have attained in life.

I couldn't believe I did it. Finally, I reached the Finals in all three categories I participated! It's like I'm living in a dream. But this isn't a dream, it's reality. I did the best I could, and this was the result.

"Oh Lord, thank you for rewarding my perseverance and the passion to be one of the finalists. I offer all these for you were the one who helped me get through in this competition. Thank you, Lord. Thank you."

But this isn't only the accomplishment I am thankful about. This week's Tuesday (or was it Wednesday), I was nominated as one of the Exemplary Students in our class. I was happy, but wasn't that confident enough for there is another student who is better than me in most of the criteria given. The next day, our class started to vote who they chose. As expected, that other student won. I was really quiet when our adviser announced the winner, because...I honestly wanted that award more than she does. I don't mean to be selfish or not being a sport, but it's just painful to know that it is almost like nothing to her, while for me, it's such a big thing. I'm not saying that she doesn't care because she also happens to be my friend. It's just hard to accept the reality.

On the bright side, it is already enough for me to be one of the nominees. Look at it this way - out of 28 students, only four were chosen and that includes you. And besides, I feel that I'm already an Exemplary Student even without the certificate or medal, because I am already one in my own little way.

Kahit Walang Pasok, Busy Pa Rin..

2006-02-26T22:39:00.000-08:00

Haii..it has been four days since there were no classes. It was supposed to be something I should be happy of, instead I'm stuck here at home doing my requirements (especially the Florante at Laura scrapbook).

However, I did get out of the house last Saturday. Mommy, Bea, and I went to Market! Market! since my Field Demo was postponed, my sister had no ballet classes, and my mom needed a day-off. We first watched the movie, "Close to You". Natatawa nga ako dahil sobra ako nakaka-relate sa movie. Parehas kasi yung mga asar sa akin dati - mataba at boyba. Hehehe...

I bought three t-shirts! Yehey! (Although I didn't get to find a khaki bag.)

Hmm...I think that's all. Yeah, I know walang masyadong news puro nasa bahay kasi ako eh.

Babye!

"You are torn between a habit and a dream. You are torn sa taong nakasanayan mo nang kasama while the other one ay yung gusto makasama sa buhay."

~ Kapatid ni Bea Alonzo sa movie (Favorite line ko toh! n_n)

Field Demo...Postponed..

2006-02-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

Grr...I blame those nonsense rallies for this!!!

Before this happened, I was so looking forward on the day our Field Demonstration/Field Demo. I was confident that we could possibly the champions because of the uniqueness of our dance numbers as well as the perseverance and dedication of my classmates. Now, because of those imbecile people out there in the streets, our goal will still have to wait.

To make things clear, I'm not blaming the school. I blame those people who are just protesting for their own selfishness. Like Mike Defensor said a while ago in the press conference, "When the economy is finally going strong, that is the time those people hold those stupid rallies." I must say that I am really mad and disappointed at the situation right now. Who wouldn't be especially if you worked so hard just to choreograph the steps? Bottom line is...I was filled with many expectations as well as the excitement, but things like this happen.

Oh well, so much for that, there are some things that still makes me smile on this day:

1) I drew Shinn Asuka, a character from Gundam Seed Destiny, to cast the role of Konde Adolfo in my scrapbook. The result was wonderful! Even though it isn't as perfect as the original picture, I'm happy with the accomplishment. He even looks more handsome than Florante! Hahaha...

2) While doing the scrapbook, my mother and I heard a song on the radio by Karen Carpenter. The title was "Close to You". My mother then began teasing me because it suites me well (that's according to her opinion!). On the other hand, I was trying hard to focus on my work. Haii...mas kinikilig pa ang nanay ko kaysa sa akin! Bwahahaha...

3) I will be able to watch the final and super-kilig episode of one of my favorite animes, "Pretear", tomorrow morning.

4) I have more time to finish the tons of projects I have to do.

5) I will be able to have a peaceful beauty sleep! Hehehe...kailangan yan talaga ng mga babae!

Here are also some of the results of various tests I took in Tickle:

My Real Color is: BROWN

Description:

A credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

~ 99.9% true except for the statement, "...you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart." Why do I say this? Well, here's why...

Francesca, you follow your heart when it comes to success

Description:

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

~ This is so true. It also has a connection with my real color. This side of mine is very noticeable only when I am school - either when debates are held or I stand up for my answer and what I believe in.

Francesca, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Conscientious

You are the kind of person others depend on. You're competent, self-disciplined, and able to carry through with any plan you create. You've just got it together. You're also good at weighing the pros and cons of any situation and making sound, well-informed decisions. Compared to others who are conscientious, you are unusually competent, knowing what to do when needed, and confident that you will do it well. Only 2.3% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

~ Ows, really?! Ok, I see the connection again. This is fun.

Hmm...next time, I'll try out the others.

++ In case you want to attend our Field Demo, feel free to inform me if you're interested. It's on March 4, 1:30 pm, at Saint Claire School, Villa Corrina Subdivision, Tandang Sora, Quezon City. See ya!

"There's is Something in Your Smile.."

2006-02-19T04:26:00.000-08:00

All I can say is...ang lupet ng fellowship namin kanina! Hehehe..n_n..

Ok, let's get serious. Ate Karen and I talked a while ago before the fellowship started. Probably, she's right about how I feel for Jim. Even though I'm really furious with what he did to me, there is still that feeling that tells me that I want to know the truth. I don't know really what is the real story, but it's probably better not to mind about it anymore because there's something more.

One of my greatest fear is to fall for one of my friends. Probably most of you would wonder why, but I have this principle in life that "Friendship is more valuable than crushing on somebody". Friendship is such a treasure to me, so it's hard when it will be shattered. Probably, I'm just rejecting the feelings I have for him again, because I like him better when we are friends. Anyway, let me leave this post with simple message regarding my feelings for this person...

"ABANGAN ANG SUSUNOD NA KABANATA..."

My Time to Shine..

2006-02-17T00:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know it has been quite a long time since I last posted, but I'm back with the latest buzz on me.

A while ago, our school held the 13th Annual Journalism Congress. I was really excited for the past few days because I know this is my time to shine. I missed journalism a lot when I was in First Year, so I couldn't help but feel so happy to write again.

With enough experience, I picked Copyreading and Headline Writing in both English and Filipino. (The group leader asked me 2 days ago what categories I want , so expect that everything went smoothly.)
To kick off, we had a little ceremony that was very interesting because the guest speaker was a former student from Saint Claire, a valedictorian in both Elementary and High School, received a degree in Speech and Communication in UP, and graduated as Cum Laude (hehehe...memoryado!). Afterwards, one of the teachers explained the contest rules as well as the room assignments (since my categories are the same, I don't have to transfer to any room! Hehehe...). Then, the time had come and the English categories came first.

At the assigned room, I started to review all the things I need to remember. When the papers were given, I was surprised to see how similar it was with one of my papers that I had reviewed a while ago. Now I don't want to be rude or too proud, but I have to say that the contest piece was quite easy on my side. It was news, and I'm most of the papers given to me in the workshop, as far as I can remember was in the News category, plus it was about people who died in the fire. It was really quite easy, although I'm not that 100% confident that I would belong in the Top 5 (Sir Paul, the school's Journalism adviser, will pick only the Top 5 contestants per category) because there are a few students who knows copyreading quite well. Anyway, I just have to wait for the results.

Next was my Filipino category. Sports news! But, before the contest I told my bestfriend that I was hoping there wouldn't be any sports article I need to edit. Oh well, might as well go with the flow. It was quite easy just like the one in English, so I didn't have to worry that much. I don't want to be an airhead here, but I must say the people who belong to the Honor or Outstanding List weren't there (except there were 2 I think). So, I thought there would be a great chance for me to win in this category. Sabi nga ng mga naniniwala sa swerte, "'Pag sinuswerte ka naman". Hehehe... (This is only an expression that fits really well on what happened today; I don't believe in luck.)

So, the contest went really well. I don't want to be that confident to assure myself that I belong to the top students, although my classmates are pretty sure. Anyway, all I have to do is too wait patiently until the winners are announced on the Recognition Day. (For those who know me very well, I'm sure you know why I underlined the word "patiently".)

"What happened to you and Jim?" that's the question you would probably ask. (Eto na, Ate Karen, with all the juicy details pa...) Ok, let me rewind the events. At the bus on our way to Villa Corrina, I suddenly felt very nervous (as in naninikip na ang dibdib ko and it was getting quite hard to breathe). I know that I'm not nervous because of the contest, instead it was Jim. Even though I got all the encouragement I needed, there is still that fear in me. When we arrived, I held on to one of my classmates for support for I fear that my legs would loose their steadiness. The teachers showed us where our designated groups are sitted. When I sat down, guess who was in front of me. It was Jim and "the girl"! They were only seperated by a little guy who I think is one of the honor students. At first I didn't know who it was, but when he shot a glance at the back, I just realized it was really him. Lucky for him and "the girl" because they were on the same group. As everything was going on, I noticed that he was looking at the back often. I don't know what is he looking at, but if it was, I don't care anymore.

During the break, I told Johanna about who were in front of me. She replied by saying, "Ano? Naglalandian ba?" Hahaha...she really knows what to say.

Jim and I didn't get to talk, which was a good thing or else the next thing he would see are stars. However, I have come up with a couple of questions in mind. Am I really angry at him? What was I feeling a while ago, with the distance between us? The feeling was unknown to me. I couldn't name it at all. I don't know what to think.

It Was Another Week..

2006-02-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

A lot of things happened this week. At the same time, a lot of emotions and thoughts formed inside me...

I have a temper. Of course, the people who are very close to me know this very well, so as much as possible they try not to get in my way. However, others don't know about this fact. Because I'm so quiet, calm, and cool most of the time, they would start bothering me. I hate people who bothers me everyday. I have one classmate who acts that way. He keeps on bothering me and it's getting on my nerves! In my opinion, that kind of behavior is so immature. I try to understand him because he's just a new student, but I guess he's naive. He doesn't see how much I'm getting irritated at him. Anyway, just a few more weeks, my blood would finally calm down.

Another classmate I have to deal is someone who loves talking about herself. I've noticed this quite sometime, but I just pushed the thought aside becuase I'm glad that we regained the close bond we once had. But then, she sounds so selfish. I don't know if I'm the only one who noticed this but, I've seen some looks. I want to tell her before things could go bad, but she seems so happy especially when we're together.

Oh Lord, how could I deal with these type of people?

++ By the way, just an update on the Aftermath of My Heartbroken Moment, I'm currently feeling a really better. I was touched at the messages in my Cbox. I'm so glad at the thought that a lot of people cared for me. Ate Karen, Mark, thank you a lot for the messages. I feel so blessed to have people like you. I pray that you would continue to help and cheer up people.

Not Much..n_n..

2006-01-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

Nothing really happened for the past days, but I'd rather tell you..

I felt a lot better ever since I talked to two people who know what I advice they should give. They are right, I should move on with the life God has given me. Thank you so much, Kathy and Ate Karen.

However, I can't deny on how much I miss the guy who has been close to my heart already. Everyday, I look at my cell phone, hoping that he would text me once again. When I go online, I open his archive and read the conversations we had. I really miss those times. But, everything fell into pieces -- pieces that are shattered, wasted, and will never be picked up.

While undergoing the healing process, God opened my eyes to a lot of things. I ranked 3rd in our class and 4th in the whole Second Year. I received the award, "First in Deportment", again and lastly, qualified for the AP Quiz Bee.

There are a lot better things on Earth -- I guess this is what God is trying to tell me. I've fallen head-over-heels for a guy and lost interest in Him and His wondrous works. As a result, he took him away from me, but for the better. A guy is only a guy, but God is more than who He really is.

A New Heartache: Third Party..

2006-01-20T04:29:00.001-08:00

A new pain...

It happened just this Wednesday. It was my first time to experience this, and it hurts so much. Who would want to experience being a "third party"? You've like the guy so much, and now, something comes up. He wasn't the guy you thought he was, because he also has his own little secret.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

Since then, I felt hurt...really hurt. Once again, my familiar friend, my own tears, came. I wasn't only hurt by what he did, but I also felt guilty and afraid. If only we didn't know each other, nothing would happen like this! I just ruined his life and even their relationship! I don't know if I have the courage to step onto the grounds of the other side. People there probably know what had been going on already.

"If that's the case, you better stop what's going on between the two of you."

This is going to be tough. However, I'm not really the one who caused all the trouble because I didn't know. I absolutely had no idea. It was also his fault. He didn't tell me the truth...

I thought that everything will be alright, but I guess I was wrong -- very wrong. I could talk to myself right now, "Cheska, you fell for another loser." I couldn't agree more. When things are starting to work out just fine, a mushroom sprouts from the ground and destroys the picture.

I just thought of this last night. I'm going to let my love life have its "quiet time" for some time. I don't know how long, but it'll just rest. The incident hurt me a lot, and I just need some healing. But, I'm not telling that I'm attempting to escape again. I'll just let this feelings subside.

He will still remain in my heart, but only as someone special during the past days. It seems impossible to bring back the friendship we had. I'm sorry.

Jim and the Math Quiz Bee..Is There a Connection?

2006-01-17T04:45:00.000-08:00

Hahaha..I know the title's pretty weird, but it's true. Jim is somewhat related to the Algrebra Quiz Bee we took a while ago.

Math was our first subject for this day. To everyone's surprise, our teacher announced that today is the First Elimination Round of the Math Quiz Bee. When we all started answering the papers, I suddenly though of Jim. Math is his favorite subject and that only means, he'll probably be one of Top 5 students in their class to pass the eliminations! And one more thing, if I pass the eliminations with him, we might be able to see each other again!!! At this thought, I did the best I could to answer every question. When the time ended, I became quite excited for the results. When we ended checking the papers, our teacher started calling the scores one by one. Johanna was the highest then followed by Paul, TJ, and Vanessa. Since our teacher mentioned that the Top 5 students will advance to the next round, all she needed was to mention one more name. I saw her reaction and I could tell she was somewhat surprised. Then, her eyes looked at me. She announced my name! I was the 5th participant! I did it! Yehey!!!

When I arrived home, I felt so proud of myself. I qualified for Math, but I didn't in Science (we also took the First Elimination in Science right after our Math subject). In fact, I like Science better. Well, for the Science, I admit it was easier compared to Math if and only if I didn't forget the familiar terms there. I even regret the day when I didn't listen to my sister when she was telling me all about Mitosis! Anyway, it's alright for me at least I am one of the contestants in Math and Spelling.

"I didn't only qualify just for myself nor for my family...I did it also for him."

By the way, I remembered that I read one of the advises that Today's Advises box (given by Pito as a birthday present) contain:

In the quietness and in confidence shall be your STRENGTH.

God was the one who really gave me strength. I wouldn't have qualified if it wasn't for Him.

"Thank you, Lord for giving me the strength I needed a while ago."

FiRsT TwO wEeKs..

2006-01-13T04:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry if I haven't been updating for so long. I have been busy and lazy for the past days. Anyway, here's an update regarding the first two weeks of the new year. (Expect that this is going to be quite long.)

: Jan.4 : - Ipis Invasion

The title is pretty clear. About two or three roaches invaded our classroom. It looks like they have multiplied during the vacation and had planned to surprise us on our first day in school. The day was totally crazy.

: Jan.5 : - Kay Daming Kahihiyan

A couple of my classmates had there own embarrassing moments. Anyway, no need to tell the details.

: Jan.6 : - Halatang Tinatamad Pa

We weren't the only ones who are lazy for homework and discussions, but also our teachers. Most of subjects will properly start on next week.

: Jan.7 : - Party Qh!!!

I will always remember that day. I had always longed to have a birthday party. The last party I had was I think when I was toddler. I can't quite recall what was my exact age, but I know it was really a long time ago. Thankfully, mommy let me. The party was a blast! Everyone came except for Micah and Joshua. Daming funny moments!!! Sana mapa-develop kaagad ang mga pics!! Here comes my favorite part. Since Myk, Pito, and Justin was there and they started to play some music, the rest of us (Osan, Krizsa, Abbie, Mark, and I) felt like there was a live band. Ang gagaling talaga nilang lahat lalo na sina Justin at Pito kasi first time ko lang sila marinig tumugtog. Nakaka-elibs tlga! I think Krizsa has a video of them in her cell phone.

After all the fun we had, I had come to realize something. I had finally found a group of friends where I really belong. In this group, I can be me. In this group, I learned the true meaning of friendship.

Well, that wraps up the first part of my update. I guess I'm going to post the part two tomorrow.

Babye for now!!

++ By the way, birthday ngayon ng crushie ko!!! Happy Birthday Jim!!!

14 nA aQ..

2006-01-01T04:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Wow!! Indeed, time surely flies fast. I'm already 14 years old now. I have to admit, I am no longer the little girl with clips on her hair. I'm growing up.

First of all, I want to thank you to all the people who greeted me a while ago through their text messages, calls (Krizsa!!!), posts on my cbox (Pito!!!), YM (Jo!!! Marz!!!), and even face-to-face. Although I can't name all of you, I'm certain that you know who you are. Thank you so much for your greetings!!! Mwah!!!

God has given me another year -- another year full of new journeys.

++ By the way, the welcome note you just read was a song from Nickelback called Far Away. It is one of the most touching songs I ever heard, so I like to share it with you..n_n..

The New Chapter..

2005-12-31T05:41:00.000-08:00

This is going to be my year-end report...

2005 was the year when everything went topsy-turvy (especially my lovelife). I have to admit, their were a lot of frowns rather than the smiles. There were also a lot of lessons life has taught me. I've also experienced a lot of conflicts -- some that involve me in the case and some aren't. Some opened my eyes to the truth and some just left me in pain.

But, behind every darkness, a light shines within. This year, I finally have a barkada -- a group where I really belong to in the first place. We had a lot of funny moments which will never disappear. I came back to my true Alma Mater -- Saint Claire School. I realized how much I miss the memories and the people that made me feel I am home. This is where I belong. This is where my home is.

Of course, how could I ever miss my lovelife? I think I had three major crushes for this year. All of them were great guys. All of them had their on genuine charm that caught my eye. But, right now, there's only one left (and I'm sure u know who he is). I had a great time with these guys (even though, sometimes, I wish didn't have a crush on them..hahaha..just kiddin'!!Ü). Oh well, at least there are still great guys here on Earth..n_n..

Indeed, God has given me another year -- a colorful year just like the fireworks displaying outside. There are ones that make your jaw drop in amazement or others that makes you want to wear earplugs next time.Ü And as Chapter 13 of my Book of Life closes, Chapter 14 is already waiting to unfold. Another year. Another year of smiles, tears, laughter, and not to mention, heartaches ahead of me. Life goes on for me, I must say. I hope my life will not yet end at the middle of my 14th year. I can't wait to start the coming year. I'm looking forward to all the surprises my life will encounter.

I wish you and your family a Happy, Happy New Year!!!

...and a Happy Birthday to me!!! Hehehe..n_n..

A Frown Turned Upside-Down..

2005-12-29T06:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I was so grumpy and silent a while ago, but fortunately, everything's alright now..

So..our conversation didn't go exactly as planned -- that got me a lot worried. I practically ran out of topics to discuss. Even though he was sweet, funny, and really thoughtful, I can't help myself to stop worrying so much. Good thing, I talked about this to Mariel. I have to admit, I'm not really that patient especially when I'm crushing on somebody. But, in order to be successful, you definitely need tons of patience. Plus, I need to be glad because he's talking to me. You know, I'm excited on what's going to happen in the coming year. All smiles for me now!!! :D

Oh, btw..I've got highlights again..only a little bit thicker streaks..n_n..

He's More Than I Thought He Was..

2005-12-26T19:53:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to post this last night. Unfortunately, I lost track of time and got carried away by the conversation me and my friends had...

I decided to go online again in case he would show up to. Funny -- we both showed up at the same time! (According to my friends, we were like fated. Hahaha..) When I was about to say "hi", a window popped up and he said "hi" to me first. He then asked me how was my Christmas (Seems to me that he isn't shy anymore..n_n..). When we got to know a little more about ourselves, I began to realize how much we have in common.

We both came from a place with the word "Nueva" in the name.
We both have one sibling.
We are both palabiro to them.
We both can't think of any words to say in our testimonials for each other. (We've just known each other since the Cheering Practice.)
We both want to discover what other qualities we possess.
We actually don't like being in position.

Hehehe..kilig n0h?! But, there's one thing we absolutely don't have in common. Guess what guyz? His favorite subject is MATH. I have to admit, I'm only beginning to like Math. It's not my favorite subject. See? He's the most unusual guy I ever had a crush on. Look, he's an athletic guy, but he has the academic brain. In short, that's plus points for a guy like him. Another thing, he is very humble. I told him that he did a great performance during the Intramurals, but he says he isn't that good.

You know, he's really a good guy. He's just who he is. Thank heavens, there is still guy like him on Earth. I can't wait to know more about him..n_n..

A Christmas Wish That Came True..

2005-12-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

Ever since that very day...
I've made a simple wish...
And now, it came true...
On the night of Christmas Eve...

I'm having the greatest Christmas ever!!! Guess what, peepz?! Jim just added me in his YM!!! Aaaaahhhhh!! I could just scream (But, actually, I'm screaming with joy right now!! :D). Well...thanks to Mariel (You're really the #1 dude!!!). She was the key to unlock the door of happiness. Anyway, some of you maybe wondering what Jim and I talked about. Umm...nothing really serious -- juz getting to know one another, only, little by little. He even added me in his Friendster account!!! Hahaha..there's one photo of him if you want to know who he is. :D

Okay, some of you might ask why am I falling head over heels for this guy. For those who have seen him, he isn't the type of guy who has the look of a commercial model. He's just simply cute (in spite of his big nose..). I like guys who have this genuine charm like being really good at a certain area (musical, athletic...you get my point..). In Jim's case, well, he's tall so that makes him a great basketball player (I've seen him play in the Intramurals and I must honestly say, I was impressed by his performance) and a member of the Science Club in which I find unusual for a guy who likes playing basketball. He isn't the honor pupil type, but he seems to be an average student. He's a quiet type, but a great one to talk to (especially now that we've chat). Hehehe..okie..enough of this kilig stuff! I'm starting to look like a tomato here! Hehehe..

Everyone's having a good time including Jo and Mariel. But, behind all the smiles and laughter, let us not forget the reason for this season. Today is HIS birthday. HE is the real reason why we're here and having a wonderful life.

~Lord, thanks for everything. May you continue to make everybody's Christmas special like mine. :D

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Mwah!!! :D

Haii..Another Boring Day..

2005-12-23T03:54:00.000-08:00

Waaahhh..naiinis tlga ako pag wala magawa!!!
Ang boring dito sa bahay!!!

(sigh) Ehem...finally got those wordz out. Promise me, it's really boring here at home. I even thought of playing with my saliva for a change (joke!! hahaha..it's hard to imagine ok? hahaha..). Highlights of the day? (There are still a few highlights even though my day was a bore) Well, for starters, the song "ULAN" by Cueshe just keeps ringing in my head. I find the song nice (sorry Pat). But, I'm not a Cueshe fan. Later that afternoon, I felt bad for the rest of the day. I won't say the details. It's just I felt angry at my mom. Now, I feel quite better already -- thanks to Abbie and Pito. Btw, check out Pito's blog...I just flooded his tagboard. (Evil laugh) Hahaha..*cough* *cough* *cough*..blasted these furballs!! Hehehe... I also read the reviews for the 3rd chapter of my 2nd fanfic, Love Takes Up the Glass of Time. Please read and leave your thoughts and your suggestions for future chapters. Thank you!!

That's it for this day!

Advanced Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Remember your Noche Buena, peepz!!

Fun,Fun, and More Fun..

2005-12-20T04:08:00.000-08:00

I just had the most wonderful time in my 13-year old life..

I have to admit that yesterday was indeed such a busy day. In the morning, we took the final set of exams (and take note of this...we had FOUR exams on this day, namely: Values Education, Health, Chemistry, and Filipino). When everything was over, it was time for our Christmas party inside the classroom. Honestly, it wasn't really party because there wasn't any music around the house. The only fun time we had was when all of us opened the presents we received from the Kris Kringle and when it was time to eat. Oh well...at least it was already the end of our miseries.

Later that afternoon, it was now time for me to go to the Youth Christmas Party in our church. I absolutely had a great time there especially when Princess and Albie showed up. Guyz, I have to tell you -- they were really pretty and honestly, they even look prettier than me (no kidding!). Anyway, I laughed a lot while the party was going on. Pito was the host so maybe most of you probably know how corny he really is. I didn't know why I laughed a lot at his jokes, but I guess it's because it really sounded corny and mababawa lang talaga kaligayahan ko. But I have to admit, he was a great host. And then I finally knew why he was holding a script...he played the voice of Big Brother in the play (That was the theme for the Christmas Party). I even teased him a little when the show was over (I started calling him kuya). Hahaha...I really enjoyed my time being there.

Now, for the main event, the High School Dance. We (Albie, Princess, and I) didn't arrive at the dance on time because we let the Youth party finish and we were caught in a major traffic jam. When we arrived, we were greeted by our other friends (Mariel, Claire, Recyn, Lea, and Michael). Oh, btw, Mariel looked really pretty with her unique style in fashion. But out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that my crush, Jim glanced at me for a while. I grinned shyly when he wasn't looking anymore, but I noticed one thing: He was also wearing the same color combination like mine...orange and blue! Ok...I won't argue with my mother again about what to wear anymore (she was the one who insisted me to wear pants). Serendipity sure can play tricks on people! Then, for the whole night, all we did was dance like crazy on the dance floor! And guess what my friends told about me?! They said that they never knew that I was such a party girl. Well, it's just because I am one of the quiet ones in school, but when it's time to party, I shift to my party mode and dance the night away! Everytime we were dancing, I always try to steal a glance to where Jim was sitted. I have to admit he looks incredibly cute. To be honest, I wasn't only dancing just to have fun, but I was also dancing just to make him notice and ask me if I wanted to dance with him. When we all sat back to our tables, I noticed that Jim often looked back to where we are sitted. When the DJ's played the slow music, my heart leaped. I was already impatiently waiting for him to ask me. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Anyway, I decided to push that thought anyway and continue to dance the next set of party music. When the night almost ended, Carlos, a former classsmate of mine, pulled Jim with him and introduced him to me. While Carlos was doing the talking, I can't help notice how Jim can't look at me straight in the eye. He was somewhat...uncomfortable (Is it because I'm already right in front of him?) But, behind his discomfort, I could clearly see he's wide smile on his face (Maybe if the lights were on, I could even see him blushing. Luckily, they weren't turned on.) Then and there, the boys left (Carlos was teasing him on the way back. Poor Jim!) and I resumed dancing the night away. Finally, the dance ended. But before I left, I almost forgot to say goodbye to Claire, so I went back. But when I looked back, I saw Jim with a girl! And it looks like they were exchanging cell phone numbers! I tried to see who the girl was, but my parents were already waiting for me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and left. Oh, how I wished it was Claire. How I wished Jim was asking my cell number from her!

Whew! This entry was sure long! But you know, last night was the greatest time I ever had. It was one of the most memorable moments I ever experienced as a teenager. Really, that night I was really feeling I was a teenager. I was surrounded by tons of party people (including my friends), my crush looked incredibly handsome, and I had 100% pure, clean fun. I even felt that I went to 100 night clubs that night because of the fun I had! Well, as for Jim, I'm still thinking of him up to now. I even remember what Lea told me. "He is obviously trying to come near to you, but he can't." You know that really made my head tick. I wonder if he has feelings for me as I to him. All of my friends think that he has a crush on me based on his behavior, but I don't want to jump to conclusions anymore. Oh well, it it's true, he would right up to me and state his feelings. In return, I would be happy and might/would tell him what I feel for him too. If not and everything was just plain coincidence, I'll just keep quiet and continue to admire him secretly.

Anyway, that's all for me now...

Bye! And advanced Merry Christmas!

A Stupid Mistake..

2005-12-16T05:56:00.000-08:00

I never thought that something like this would happen...

I was supposed to delete all the Sent Messages in the Sent Items box, accidentally, I deleted ALL the messages including my folders. I tried to stop the process, but it was done. I cried. I felt angry at myself for doing such a stupid mistake. All those messages were important to me especially those from my ka-barkadz and family. I continued to cry bitterly while, my mother tried to comfort me. I couldn't stop myself. It was too hard to accept. I even asked God the reason why this kind of things need to happen. I wasn't even able to study well.

After a while, my tears subsided. Mom told me that it was alright compared to what happened to her when she graduated. She even told me that probably God has a purpose behind it. When I knew I was already better, I even joked that my messages memory was full anyway. Finally, I smiled and laughed. Yeah, those precious messages were already consuming a lot of space from my phone memory. My mother even added that after all this year's going to end and there's only a few days away before the New Year (and my birthday!), why not have new messages too? Chapter 13 will finally close, and Chapter 14 will soon start. I finally felt better...

Thank God, mother was here...

I don't want to cry anymore over that mistake for the coming days. I have a great week ahead of me. I'm included in the SLT Graduation. I'm going to attend the CCBC Christmas Party. I'm going to have fun at the Youth Christmas Party and High School Dance on Monday. I don't want that mistake to take over my weekend nor what I felt a while ago (I felt confident that I'm going to have a 9 of 9 in my Quarterly Exam in Math..n_n..).

I'm finally feeling better...

Long Time No Blog!

2005-12-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

Hehehe..long time no blog people!!! Well, I've been busy with other things such as my studies and my fanfics..n_n..

Ok, I'll just give you the latest updates about me:

Read my last post? Well, everything's alright now, but there's just one BIG twist. I even spoke about my feelings for Jim! Hahaha..long lasting!
I'm feeling excited at the same as nervous for the upcoming High School Dance. I've already planned what to wear, but will he ask me to dance with him?
There are new fanfics in my upcoming list -- Three Wishes, Three Words and Who You Are. Check them out at http://www.fanfiction.net. Please support!!!
Recently updated Destined to Be's 9th chapter entitled "Head Turner" and is now currently writing Love Takes Up the Glass of Time's 3rd chapter, "Yearbook". I have been inspired to write lately!
Having lesser hours of sleep nowadays...
Thought of a great idea for my scrapbook in Florante at Laura. Hehehe..juz wait and see!
I already thought of what I want this Christmas. I told my mom that I want the book, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Love and Friendship and/or a sketch pad. I've realized that I have a talent in drawing, so I want to enhance it with the right materials. (I even drew Ginji from the Get Backers (only in his stuff toy form) because of boredom! Hahaha..)
Hmm..what else? Oh, I remember. I love the song "I Still..." from the Backstreet Boys. I don't know why, but it has a big impact on me.

I think that's all of it. A few days left until Christmas and my birthday!!! Hahaha...

Toodles, peepz!!!

You..

2005-11-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

A message to someone out there:

I'm sorry if I bothered you. I just want to know the truth. You see, I was hurt with what you did to me. It even destroyed our friendship. I then, realized that you aren't the person I used to know before. You told me you aren't angry, but I am still not convinced. How come you can't answer my question? Yeah right, you're serious, but I think the real truth lies at the back of your head. C'mon, anyway, you're wise enough to say it.

As I promised, here are some of my favorite lines of the songs I wanted to share with you (especially to that someone out there):

Life After You by Brie Larson: ...I thought I was gonna die, turns out I survived/Hey, didn't need you anyway/I get better everyday/Don't you think it's funny how it all works out?/Yeah, I finally got a life/I go on every night/Now I've got so much to say, so much to do/This is life, life after you/...I don't have to say I'm sorry/...I don't think I've ever felt so free/I guess I should be thanking you for this brand new attitude...//

Gone by Kelly Clarkson: Your eyes they sparkle/That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain/You washed away the best of me/You don't care/You know you did it/I'm gone/To find someone to live for in this world/There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight/Just a bridge that I gotta burn/You're wrong/If you think that you can walk right through my door.../...I am breaking that habit today/...There is nothing you can say/Sorry doesn't cut it, babe/Take the hint and walk away/'Coz I'm gone/Doesn't matter what you do/It's what you did that's hurting you/All I needed was the truth/Now, I'm gone//

There they are, folks...

Gundam Seed Destiny Update and HP4..

2005-11-26T21:57:00.000-08:00

Here's good news for you, Gundam Seed Destiny fans (and that includes me):

Aftermath News:
Hobby Mags announced a special program consisiting of all 50 episodes of GSD plus a new "after episode", "The Chosen Future", that will be broadcasted on Christmas.

It will air past Christmas. The new after episode will reveal the path of Shin, Kira, and Athrun after the battle.
Schedules:
TBS 1:50am-2:45am (Christmas)
MBS 12:30am-1:25am
Source: Gunolta

I can't wait to see it! What will happen to Shin and Luna? Will he still remember his sweet Stellar? What about Kira and Lacus? Finally, what will become of Cagalli and Athrun's relationship? Will they still meet at the altar after all that had happened? So many questions!!!

I had finally watched HP4!!! Gosh, Cedric's so handsome!!! Draco only has a few scenes (I don't like the thought of that). Cho isn't that pretty compared to Hermione when she went to the Yule Ball. The movie has a lot of things to laugh about. I just love it!!! By the way, too bad Cedric died...I love the way he acts.

That's all...

The Long and Winding Week..

2005-11-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

This week may not be the best I've ever had, but it turned out to be quite alright. Any way, here are the highlights...

This week's Tuesday was a blast! At the Morning Activities, Ms. Vesuntia announced the Second Quarter's Honor Students. When they were about to announce the students with the respected awards, I felt pretty relaxed because I know I'm going to receive the Best in Penmanship award again. Then, it was a surprise for me when Johanna was called instead of me. So, I thought I will bring home only one merit card. That's what I thought until I was called to receive the First in Deportment award! I was really happy because it was my first time to receive the award for leadership since I started schooling at SCS. At the same time, I also received the Outstanding Student award. Yeah!

Oh, by the way, I don't know when was this but here it goes. We were given a sermon from our AP teacher because our class was so noisy (as usual...). He then, asked us who our inspirations were. When he asked me, I flashed him a smile. Suddenly, my classmates noticed that I was suddenly blushing. When I heard the question, the first person that flashed in my mind was of course Jim. Yeah, there were my parents, Bea, and my best friends; however, he was the first person who came into my mind that's why I blushed. When my teacher asked me again, I simply answered, "Someone...special." Hahaha...nakakakilig talaga!

Wednesday and Thursday was umm...not that interesting so, no news to share.

There were ups and downs on this day. I was happy that among the Outstanding Students in both campuses (Second Year only), I placed 5th in the ranking (hmm...not bad right? Hahaha...). At the end of the day, my spirits died down when I felt that I failed as a the leader of our group. Our group presented the worst, and I was so angry. But, I only have one thing to say, I did my job well and I did the best I could to become the best leader I can be.

I guess this is enough. Oh, before I forget, I supposed to post something last Saturday, but there were some complications. I think I'm going to post it tomorrow or on Sunday. No offense on the material, but I just feel like sharing a couple of them to all of you especially to someone out there.

Crazy..

2005-11-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

I have to admit it -- it was indeed a crazy day. Here is one of the crazy moments:

Lea: Sino na nga ba yung inaasar sayo? Ah, si Jim! Uy...Jim!

Me: (just smiling at her, but deep inside, kinikilig ako! hahaha..)

(after a few minutes, I whispered to Lea that I find Jim really cute)

Lea: (surprised) Ano ba yan, Cheska?! Ang papanget ng mga crush mo!

Me: (laughing a little bit) Cute naman siya ah?!

Lea: Hindi! Hindi siya cute!

Me: Cute siya!

(I think you know what's going on..)

(then, we hear our other classmates teasing one of our classmates, Luis)

Lea: 5'9 ka ba talaga, Luis?! Eh, mukhang mas matangkad si Jim kaysa sayo, eh.

JM: Si Jim? Yun ba yung malaki ang ilong?

(Kathy and Lea shifted their glances at me)

Me: (at the time I heard that, I was laughing my head off! hahaha.. but I have to admit it Jim has quite a big nose, but he's still cute to me..bwahahaha..)

There was so much more, but this is my favorite for this day. Bye!

PS:
- I had fun in the tutoring a while ago! In fact, I'm already starting to LIKE Math already.

Recalling the Past Three Days..

2005-11-16T21:16:00.000-08:00

It took me quite long before I could post again. My schedule was really hectic with a lot of assignments and projects.

Sunday [11.13.05] -- I didn't know what happened. He suddenly changed. He wasn't the one I used to know before. My feelings were hurt after that incident. But, I'm still holding my head up high. It seems that this is a little game, my friend. Well, I'll play along with you. Remember, you don't know who I really am. You don't know who you're messing with.
(On the other hand, my AP project became more creative than I've ever imagined because of my anger for someone. Ok, here's tip for students doing their projects: Get angry first, it somewhat brings your creativity out.)

Monday [11.14.05] -- I had already started taking action. I can't wait for the result.

Tuesday [11.15.05] -- Last night, I just realized that I'm really going to miss that certain guy I laid eyes on when we went to the other campus. I'm going to miss the times when I always pretend that I wasn't looking at him. I remembered one of my favorite moments when I was there. I, Claire (She knows me but I already forgot all about her. I only remembered when she mentioned that she was also one of the contestants in Ms. Saint Claire when I was one too.), and Pat were pumping balloons. It was quite a challenge for us because the yellow ones were too small. Across my side, I could clearly see him sitting on top of the bookshelf near an open window. Because of my temptation to look at him secretly, I pretended to look at the window, but in fact, I was really looking at him! Hahaha...talking about pa-simple. I wil also miss the times when I always see him sitting alone. He is so quiet. All he just does is lean his head against the wall and observe the people around him. He's tall, handsome, and a great athlete. He always keeps a straight face on that made me wonder if he ever smiles. Until...I finally saw that smile. Ever since I saw that captivating smile on his glowing face, I liked him even more. Alright, I admit it. He's already my crush. My ONE and ONLY crush for NOW. Then, reality struck me. I won't be able to see him for a long time because he's there and I'm stuck here. Just then, I read the Tentative schedule of our school this coming November and December. I suddenly felt excitement rushing through my veins when I read that there will be a High School Dance on December 19! I know it's still far, but all I have to do is to have a little patience, right? I will able to see him again!

Wednesday [11.16.05] -- I'm slowly starting to get Factoring right. I can do this! Even though my score is still low, but my answers are not far from the real answer. I'm getting it! I'm starting to get the concept of Algebra!

Well, that's it. Bye!

S-O-P-H-I-E-S..

2005-11-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

We're the SOPHIES,
We're the best,
...Among the rest

A while ago, we had our High School Cheering Competition. But, before the event began, heavy drops of rain poured from the sky. With all my heart, I prayed to God to give us a fine weather. Then, it was answered.

We were second to perform. Being a member of a squad, I was actually screaming my lungs out already. I also smiled to the audience because I was one of the frontliners. Frankly, I felt that I was the only one smiling. Anyway, I don't care. I want to enjoy every moment of my High School life. I don't want to be like other people who are bored to death and hate their HS years forever.

Unfortunately, we didn't win. The Freshmen won, which was pretty obvious. I've been thinking -- they really have a great possibility that they'll win "Best Batch" at the end of the School Year. Well, FY-Faith won in the Convocation. But, we, Somphomores won't give up. We still have our chance to show what we've got...in the Family Day and Journ Congress (I want to be the Champion in the Journ Congress, so I'll really do my best in the category I'm good at).

Don't worry, Sophies. Anyway, according to my mom, we're the "Best Squad" for her..n_n..

SOPHIES RULEZZZ!!!

Put a Smile on Your Face..n_n..

2005-11-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

I don't really know the reason behind these smiles...

I feel so tired, sweaty (yuck!), and smelly (gross!) the whole day. I slowly getting conscious of myself as each minute passed by. But, behind all these, I was smiling.

I think it's because I find a certain guy cute (this is different from a crush, ok?). Fine...call me two-timer (for those who know who my crush really is), but I just find him different among his classmates. He's ok (that's what I think). He's really cute, but not the typical pretty-boy look. More of umm...exotic or something (as long as the word's not exotic). This isn't the only time I notice how cute this guy is. I've been interested in him since the Intramurals..n_n..

Alright...enough of the babbling. Along with these smiles-up-to-my-ears, I'm also feeling flattered. If you think I'm going to talk about it...guess again!!!

Jokes and teasings are half-true right? Just answer..n_n..

After the Rain Comes the Glorious Sunlight..

2005-11-08T19:37:00.000-08:00

After the rain comes the glorious sunlight...

Two days ago, I felt like a wreck. Later that night, I cried my heart out to the Lord, because I wanted to disappear. However, yesterday changed everything.

My mother told me that the reason why it happened is because God was happy. You see, I cried out to Him about what I feel. So, to cheer me up, he gave me an unexpected yet wonderful gift.

The reason why I cried is because I had finally realized my mistakes. I wanted to make things right again. I don't want the same mistakes happen all over again. To tell you the truth, my new book (Saving My First Kiss by Lisa Velthouse) was the one that brought me to my senses. I now wanted to live a life where I wouldn't cry anymore, because of my mistakes..n_n..

Here's a song that I want to share with you. It somehow described what I felt yesterday.

I'M ALIVE by Celine Dion

I get wings to fly... Oh-oh
I'm alive... yeah.. yeah

When you call for me
When I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly...
I feel that I'm alive

When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that
I'm alive
Ohh... Ooh.... alive

When you blessed the day
I just drift away
All my world is right
I'm glad that I'm alive

You set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman
I'm glad you're back

I couldn't get much higher
My spirit takes flight
(My spirit takes flight)
Because I'm alive
(Because I'm alive)

Ooh... never bound

(When you call on me)
When you call on me
(When I hear you breathe)
When I hear you breathe
(I get wings to fly...)
I feel that I'm alive

Oh yeah, I'm alive.

(When you reach for me)
When you reach for me
(Erases fear inside)
Loves knows that

That I'll be the one standing by
Through good and through trying times
And it's only begun
I can't wait for the rest of my life

(When you call for me)
When you call on me
(When you reach for me)
When you reach for me
(I get wings to fly...)
Ah-ah...
(I feel that...)

(When you blessed the day)
When you blessed, you blessed the day
(I just drift away)
I just drift away
(All my world is dark)
I know that... I'm alive

Yeah...

I get wings to fly
God knows that I'm alive...

What Am I Going to Do?

2005-11-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

I was happy, at first, with the way things started out this morning. Unfortunately, something happened...

All of a sudden, I felt something pinching my insides. I stood still...my eyes were wide open...I couldn't utter the words to say. I couldn't bear what I saw, so I quickly walked away.

I didn't know how I felt. Various emotions were stirring inside me. All I just know I didn't feel good. I felt I was suffering a breakdown. I felt that I was struck by an enormous force.

I kept thinking that it was nothing, but the image kept on replaying inside my head. I tried to read my new book to find an answer, but I couldn't take my mind off the incident. I kept on asking myself (even to my closest buds), "What am I going to do?"

Even though my mind was a little bit settled by the words of my trustworthy friends, I'm still stuck with these unknown and stirring emotions. I kept on questioning myself especially the italicized words above. I even feel like I'm going crazy!

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?...

New Layout!!

2005-11-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

Hooray for me!!!

Ehem..here I present to you this month's layout!!! Pretty, isn't it? Yeah..I like it a lot too. Honestly, what I really like about it is the saying above (umm..that's the header, I think). Well..those are the exact words I want to say to someone special. It fits perfectly! Okie..gotta run now..I mean eat..hahahaha..n_n..

Have fun!

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Have fun with the Cbox!!!Hehehe..n_n..

Royalty?

2005-11-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

Royalty -- this word has been in my head ever since I started to read the Royalty Series of the Sweet Valley High books (if you know anyone who doesn't read these books anymore or if it is you yourself...may I borrow them? I've been addicted to these books for so long!).

I have always been a fairy tale lover. Enormous palaces...living the royal life as a princess...and of course, having my very own Prince Charming. I don't know what got into me, thinking of these things -- it even makes me laugh. I guess I was just swept away by the story -- the Wakefield twins living in a modern fairy tale. The story is really great especially when Elizabeth (the older twin) falls in love with a real prince.

(sigh) How magical! Well, in my opinion, I do believe there's a fairy tale in every one of us! (smiles)

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Am I getting dreamy or what? (laughs)

Wahahahaha..n_n..

2005-10-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

What had hit me?

Why am I acting so crazy right now? A while ago, we had just lost the basketball game by ONE point. Grr...it irritated me so much. Oh well...

After the game, I headed to the canteen to buy a bottle of water because I had been screaming my lungs out (even for the past days). Then before I handed my money to the cashier, I noticed Carlos, a former classmate of mine way back during my Elementary years. I was quite angry because he hasn't been talking to me neither any of his former classmates. I gave him a light punch in the arm. When he finally noticed, we began talking. Suddenly, his eyes spotted my 3-year(s) crush. He waved "Hi!" to me and I returned it. On the other hand, Carlos began teasing me. When my ex-crush walked away, I said, "Hanggang ngayon yan parin ang intriga?!". When he parted, I heard some "ui!" from his table. Avoiding to think what those jerks were thinking, I just shrugged my shoulders.

That moment when my ex-crush waved "Hi!", something inside of me told me that I should say something else. Indeed, I had so many questions inside my head like, "How are you?", "Why aren't you online most of the time?", "How come you don't reply to my texts?", "How are you and your girlfriend?" (if they're still on with the girl he mentioned a year back), and a whole lot more. I didn't know what held me back.

I guess I know why am I acting so crazy. I had seen him. There were a lot of times we had crossed each other's paths, but neither of us spoke. We just pass each other like we don't know each other. It was just a while ago he had noticed me. I've been watching him a lot of times, but I think he doesn't know. I was happy. I was happy because he finally noticed me. Seeing that smile on his face when he waved, brought me back in time when I was so "in love" with him. I remembered why I fell for him; it was his smile that caught my eye. I missed him, even though he isn't anymore the one my heart belongs. I'm glad. I just pray that we would be able to talk a little longer.

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Sorry if I can't mention the name...I just feel that I don't want to.

My Life is an Eternal Bliss..

2005-10-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

I thought "bad luck" would continue to ruin my week, but for all that has happened to me on this day -- I never felt this much happiness.

We spent a lot of time together...again. But, I don't think he minds. We are both happy when one's presence is there or nearby. In my opinion, our friendship is becoming even closer than before. I'm not saying that our friendship is exclusive, if that's the way some people see it. I just want to spend equal time with all of my friends, and that includes him. Well, I'm going to miss him on Friday and on Sunday. I just hope there's a signal in Nueva Vizcaya so I could text him and my other ka-barkadz.

"Patience is a virtue." "Obedience has its reward." -- two sayings/proverbs that absolutely relate the incident that happened a while ago. Daddy arrived at home (past midnight) from his business trip, and guess what he bought me? An Mp3 player! I was really surprised at the early Christmas gift he bought for me. I've always wanted one. I even remembered that I always prayed to God that on Christmas or on my birthday my parents would give me one. But, it came so early! I even told my dad that it was too much. I also thought to myself that there are so many blessings God is giving to me. Now, I have proven that those two sayings/proverbs are so true..n_n..

My last words? Thank you, God, for giving me a great day and so many blessings.

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
Chapter 8 of "Destined to Be" (my first fanfic) has already been updated! If you are interested to read it, please visit my "Links" page, and click "Access to My Fanfics". Thank you!

What a Week!!

2005-10-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

What a week!! So many things happened!!

Just this Monday, I suffered major menstral cramps. I even took a 500mg Mefenamic Acid tablet just to make the pain go away.

Then, our exams happened the following day. At the same time, I got so sick. I suffered from colds (until now), cough (dry and with phlegm), and hard time breathing. During the exam, I really couldn't think well because I somehow felt that my colds are going to my head. Gosh! I really had a bad week!!!

Behind all the bad luck entering my life, something really special happened last Wednesday. A certain someone texted me. He was asking about how I was and did I go to school even though my body is so weak. For a moment when he texted me, I suddenly felt that I wasn't sick anymore. I was really happy! I kept on reading that text over and over again! Was he concerned about my condition? Maybe..n_n..

Last Friday, Mom and I fought, but, everything is alright now. We settled everything already.

I think that's it. Sorry for making it too summarized. I just don't feel writing something long in my blog anymore..n_n..

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:

I got a 98% in my Biology Quarterly Exam!!! I did it!!! And again, I'm the highest!!!

In Memory...

2005-10-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry if it took so long for me to post. I have such a busy schedule.

Anyway, this month s blogskin will be my favorite anime, the Gundam Seed Saga. Last Sunday, I had just finished watching Gundam Seed Destiny s (Gundam Seed 2) episodes 40-50. The ending was tragic because Rey (the guy with long, blonde hair who Osan thinks is gay, but is not), PLANTS Chairman Gilbert Dullindal (I just dont get this man s problem), and Captain Talia (who formerly had an affair with Gilbert) died inside the destruction of the Messiah Base. Fortunately, Kira and the rest of the Archangel crew were saved.

Finally, the series is over! I'm going to miss it so much! Anyway, there is good news. Instead of having a 5 minute OVA (Original Video Animation) just like in the Gundam Seed Series, Gundam Seed Destiny will be having their 40 minute OVA! It will be released at the same time Vol.13 will be out in the market. Yehey!!!

There is more great news!!! K-Zone magazine gave out awards in various categories in celebration of their third anniversary. In the Best Anime category, Gundam Seed was First Runner-Up with a percentage of 27.9%!!! The anime that claimed the #1 spot is of course is Naruto, which I don t care anymore because it keeps on repeating and repeating. Then, for the Best Anime Guy category, Kira Yamato (my 10-months anime crushie) bagged #1 with 37.5%!!! Yehey!!! Three cheers for Gundam Seed!!!

Lastly, if you noticed my welcome note it is a song that came from the GSD soundtrack. Wings of Words, sung by CHEMISTRY, is actually the fourth ending and my fifth favorite song from the series. By the coming weeks, I will be presenting my Top 5 favorite songs from the anime. Hope you enjoy!

Sayonara..n_n..

I Miss You (Kimi Ga Daisuki Ga)

2005-10-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

I’m still haunted by this feeling since last night. I miss him a lot already, even though we met and talked yesterday. But, I really miss him. To tell you the truth, I’m trying to stay away from him as much as possible. I’m just trying to stay away from rumors or “jumping into conclusions” from people. I even said to myself (even my mom):

“Let him do the talking first, then you talk. Don’t make the first move.”

When we crossed our paths yesterday, I was surprised that he was the first one to notice me. He was even the first to greet “hi”. It gave me quite a surprise because I was usually the first to notice and greet him. I felt glad that we’re actually feeling a lot closer than before. I also remembered what mom also said:

“Don’t ever get the boy to notice you. It is better just to steal a glance at him from time to time.”

I did what my mother told me to do. During class, I’ve been stealing glances at him. Whenever he catches me, I just turn my head to another direction – obviously, avoiding.

I like him a lot. Whenever I think of him, I always wish he’s here beside me right now – talking and cracking crazy jokes. This the first time I felt something like this. I’ve got so many crushes in the past, but the way I feel for him is somewhat different. I feel that I want to be with him always.

To end this entry, I just want to tell you that I know I’m still young for this. I know maybe many of you now don’t want me to get hurt because I have a fragile heart. I always hear that from my friends especially those who are so close to me. Don’t worry. I don’t want to cry again because of a guy again. I’m tired of being Ms. Teary-Eyed-Because-of-Love. I’ll be careful. I promise.

Right now, all I want to say to the person I madly like is:
“Kimi ga daisuki ga.” (Find out to know what it means. Hint: It’s Japanese.)

Feeling Frustrated and Awful 2x..

2005-09-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

This day is absolutely bad..
Nakakaka-bad trip tlga..
Shocks!! I really feel awful and frustrated..

I felt absolutely frustrated when it was already our Biology period. Why? Simply because of my stupidity and carelessness, I've wasted 20 precious points in the last part of our Mid-Qtr exam!! We were supposed to make a Dihybrid Cross, but instead of that, I did a Monohybrid (now, how stupid is that?!?!)!!! I am supposed to get a 99, but because that, I got a 81!!! Because of the frustration I felt, I couldn't help but cry and cry on my seat. A few of my classmates try to comfort me and well, it quite made me feel ok.

A while ago, he went onlyn. Then, I waited impatiently for 3 minutes. When 3 minutes were over, I typed:

Me: Wala tlga satin ang magtatype noh?

BUZZ!!!

You know what happened next? HE SUDDENLY WENT OFFLINE!!! And the worse thing?!?! HE DIDN'T LEFT ME A REPLY!!! Great just great!!! I thought he would make me happy for this day, but he made it even worse!!! I even texted him, but still, NO REPLY!!! What's going on?!?! I'm having one of the worst days of my life!!!

-*- Lesson of the Day: Don't expect too much. (This is for that Biology Mid-Qtr exam. I honestly expected that I would get a perfect score, but now, I've learned my lesson.)
-*- To those who comforted me a while ago, thank you for making me feel better.
-*- I absolutely don't know what's with him.

Hahaha..Eto Na Naman Po Tayo..

2005-09-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

Okie..you probably know that this entry is all about ihcihsuj..But, hey, let's face it..I really like-like him..n_n..

Ang kulit nya tlga!! Pero he's really weird yet funny. Ewan ko ba..basta..siya kc eh!! He did something that absolutely made me chuckle (you probably know that this is different from a laugh right?) but, I guess that's how people talk when they come from such schools. But, he's alright. I don't mind. I just really like-like him..n_n..

Pasensya na kung maikli lng entry ko ngyn..ayoko lng kc mag-elaborate eh..hehehe..

Basta..feeling ko narin pasaway me ngyn eh..n_n..

Sayonara..n_n..

PS: Kanina pa sya pasaway tapos hanggang ngyn. Haii..oh well..as I always say..that's life. Oh..btw..if you want to know the story..I'll juz tell yah!!

I Hate This Day!

2005-09-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

I hate this day because:

First: I'm absolutely 100% sure I'm going to fail my Math Mid-Quarter exam!!! D***, if only I could scream right now!!! Last night, I even made a promise to my mother that I would pull my Math grade up - from that 85 in the card to 90+. But, now it seems so impossible. I think I was pressured because of that promise. Shocks! Why did I even say that?!?! Aaarrrggghhh..I feel absolutely frustrated!!! It would even make me out of the Honor List!!! Aaahhh!!!!!!!

Second: How dare she do such things?!?! Cheating and even using other people's feelings just to get what she wants and be under the spotlight..how low is that?!?! She even doesn't deserve such a ranking!!! It's not that I'm jealous, but she's the LOWEST of all low people I've ever known. Gosh!!! Why are there people like her?!?! And, how naive of her?!?! She doesn't even know that many people hate her already because of how she acts and thinks!!!

Sorry if I have to scream my lungs out in this post. I just really hate this day!!!

Sayonara..

PS: Don't even think about it. Don't jump to conclusions. If the person you are thinking is the one I mentioned, hey, think twice.

Siya at Ako

2005-09-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

-Ibang klase talaga pag kasama mo siya- yun lang masasabi ko. To tell you the truth, I almost spent my whole morning with him. We talked after class, before Krizsa and I went to McDo, and after service. I absolutely can’t blame him why I had fallen for him..he’s such a wonderful guy. We seem to feel very comfortable with each other. Tapos, ang tiyaga pa niya. Nilalagnat na nga eh..nag-aaral pa ng Trigo. I told him to rest (because I think all he needs is a lot of rest..) and drink juices (Calamansi-na-wala-masyadong-asukal juice and Salabat (ginger juice)), but I don’t want to push him just because I’m worried. Well, he needs to study. I would probably even do that just for grades.

Anyway, he’s really special to me. I think there’s nothing wrong or malice in our –friendship- (if you really call that –friendship-..). And, I think he only sees me as a friend. It’s alright with me if he can’t return my feelings as long as..we are open to each other..n_n..

PS:
~ I remembered one line he said that made me smile:
-Di muna ako attend ng fellowship. Baka mahawa ka lang sakin.-

Alam ko medyo mababaw pero these words are enough for me to be happy..n_n..

~ Saya ng fellowship!! Super saya talaga!!

Sayonara..n_n..

Smiles and Laughs

2005-09-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

So many things happened..aLL of them made me smiLe and Laugh..n_n..

Hahaha..ihcihsuj was there..in his usuaL cuteness..^blush^blush^..

A while ago, we celebrated Krizsa s bday (Happy Birthday!!!). Hehehe..ang saya namin sa arcade!! Ang sakit na naman ng mga kamay ko!! Tapos, nag-Dance Revo na may kamay pa kami ni Osan!! Aray, ang sakit ng mga braso ko!! Papayat ako nito eh!! Anyway, masay naman eh..pauLit-uLit kmi..n_n..

Ay, before I forget, may nangyari kay Osan habang tumakbo kami. Hehehe..nag-sumersault lng naman sya..teehee..n_n..Buti nga eh..waLang masyadong tao at tumawa Lng sya na parang nababaLiw..

Hehehe..nag-YM din kmi ni ihcihsuj kanina..may sinend sya sakin kaso ayaw mabukas. Sayang! Nakakatuwa daw yun..oh weLL at least..we are now comfortabLe with each other..we even text each other more often..ibang klase tlga sya..ibang klase tlga ang nararamdaman ko pra sa kanya..n_n..

See? All I can do is to smile and laugh..n_n..

Sayonara..n_n..

All I Could Do is Smile

2005-09-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to post this last night, but unfortunately, I was really sleepy..

Yesterday, all I felt was happiness. I almost even cried because of it. We're officially friends again. I was really touched how she was thankful to me for being there with her. She thought that I was worrying about her that time, and it is true. Her situation was quite critical, and I could not help but worry. She also told me to forget about what happened in the past and admitted her mistake.

I felt really happy. To tell you the truth, I never felt angry at her besides what she did to me. When I transferred, I realized she was one of the special people I miss so much. I still treat her as my friend during those days when I transferred. We have been friends for many years. And now, she is back. The friend I have always known and always cared for. She has only grown mature, but still...she is always that friend I love since I started my Elementary years..n_n..

Sayonara..n_n..

Another Post

2005-09-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hehehe..back again..n_n..

Juz wanna tel u that i had created a new fanfic in http://www.fanfiction.net, entitled -Love Takes Up the Glass of Time-. Here, let me give u the summary:

He is already 25, a widower, a doctor, and a father of his one and only child (daughter). She is already 23, a widow, a teacher and a mother of her only child (son). Will love blossom again and bring back all the lovely memories? AthrunxCagalli One-shot

Obviously, this is another Gundam SEED/Destiny fanfic.

Btw, if u have noticed something in my poems, well..plainly i am creating a series of them. These poems are created from feelings in everyday life, particularly love. Tell me what you think of my poems like if they need more improvement or they sound great -- juz tell ok. I am still working on my writing skills.

Tnx..

Sayonara..n_n..

Go Wisdom Go Wisdom Go!!!

2005-09-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Wahoo!!!

It was First Quarterly Convocation a while ago. All of us are nervous because the HS Convo is as more than just a program, but a CONTEST. We were the fourth class to perform. Frankly, the presentations of the other classes were absolutely..BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!! Everyone was nervous, but somehow I managed to cheer them out and tell them that WE CAN DO IT. Then, we are finally called to perform. Everything went smoothly -- our dubbers were great (^claps her hands^ for Johanna and Alto), props were handled in good condition, the sound system was excellent (of course, it was supervised by me..n_n..), our dance numbers really got the audience's attention (especially when my classmates sang and danced -It's a Hard Knox Life- with those mini-skirts, knee-high socks, and pigtails for the girls, while the boys wore suspenders that made them look like LITTLE boys and girls, and of course, when Marc T. sang -Liwanag sa Dilim-) that made me think that we had the highest score for the Audience Impact, and most of all, the superb acting done by Paul (hehehe..si bida..), Mariel (NANAY!!!..n_n..), and the rest of the actors. While waiting for the announcement of the results, it was time for the Awarding Ceremony. Surprisingly, I was Best in Penmanship (as usual..kahit sa pagsusulat..napaka-meticulous ko..n_n..) and..HONOR STUDENT. I absolutely cannot believe that I had received two merit cards because I was hopeless to get to the Honor List. Anyway, I was still happy because..I MADE IT. But, I have to aim higher..being MOST OUTSTANDING STUDENT..n_n.. Anyway, back to the contest, our principal is about to announce the results. -With an average score of 90.4, Second Place goes to..2..Wisdom!- I cant believe my ears! We won 2nd place?!?! Johanna and I stood up and she is asking me if it is really true that we earned a place!! Waaahhh!! Then, to accept the plaque, is our director, Mariel (who is also our director..) along with our adviser, Ms. Abad, and a couple of students, Johanna and Patty. I really could not believe it!!! I feel so great because I had also contributed something to this presentation as one of the organizers (hmm..somewhat Co-Director..n_n..), Sound Tech Personnel, and Narrator.

There you have it folks..

GO WISDOM GO WISDOM GO!!!

Sayonara..n_n..

MEDYAS!!!

2005-08-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

Wala ako masabi sa araw na ito kundi..

DAMN RIGHT MEDYAS!!!

Naiinis ako!!! Naiinis talaga ako!!! Naiinis ako sa sarili ko!!! Gusto ko sumigaw!!! At this point, I’m absolutely full of hatred. Ewan ko ba kung kalian naging maayos buhay ko. I think it was..NEVER!!! I start my day great, then..BOOM!!! I hate it!!! I want to throw something to relieve my anger! I want to hit something! AAAHHH..!!! My life is always a mess!!! MEDYAS, MEDYAS, MEDYAS, MEDYAS!!!

My Life is Simply Wonderful

2005-08-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry people if I havent blogged for days..Please bear with me..it's tough making it to the Honor List..as well as fighting the battle of the ultimate factor..LAZINESS..hehehe..n_n..

Alright..what to type first? School, friends, home or church? Probably, school first..

At school:

Our class is currently practicing our presentation for our First Quarterly Convocation to be held on Sept.2, Friday, at the SCS Villa Corrina campus, 8.30 in the morning (Wow! Kumpleto yun ah!). We are really taking it seriously because our convocation is a contest. I have a role..Sound Tech Personnel (yup..the one in charge of the music..). Anyway, Mariel might give me another role..

Friends:

Last Saturday, Osan, Krizsa, and I celebrated Osan's birthday (Happy Birthday, Mrs. Yoh Asakura!). We went to SM Megamall. Hahaha..wala kaming ginawa dun kundi mag-arcade ng mag-arcade (ang sakit ng kamay ko dhil sa Time Crisis!), Comic Alley, tpos kumain kami, and then nanood ng Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (ang ganda ng movie! Very inspiring tlga..n_n..). When we got to the house (Osan's), we decided to watch the TV special of Shaman King (Hehehe..funga fufu funga fufu..n_n..). After that we watched My Sassy Girl (Hehehe..ang cute ng movie! Ang gulo!..n_n..) Nanood din kmi ng OVA ng Kenshin pero kinlahati lng namin kc lhat kmi ay inaantok na kami especially si Krizsa. Hindi kmi natulog kaagad – daldalan, cell phone-cell phone, and kinig-kinig sa music muna kami. We slept at
(I think) 3am. Hehehe..new world record for me! The latest time I slept in my life! Bwahahaha..n_n..

Church:

I had one of the most unforgettable days of my life.

While Sunday School was going on and our teacher was giving instructions, I looked at the door hoping that my Kira would attend. Then, nagtaka ako.

Isip ko: Bakit may ulo?

When the door opened, I was surprised to see him, my Kira! Then, I slowly looked away. I had this cheeky smile on my face. It grew even bigger when my friends shot a look of ui..kinikilig sya!. While he was saying the answers of his group, I was completely mesmerized by his voice. Shocks! Ang gwapo tlga ng boses nya!

After Sunday School, we started to talk to him. Funny, I didnt feel even a bit nervous. Pakiramdam ko tlga ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam ko. He s great to talk to. ^smile^

While walking to McDo (Osan and Krizsa are so hungry, while I..lost my appetite), Krizsa told me that while I was reciting the answers of my group, my Kira was looking and laughing at me. He was laughing because I had such LLLOOONNNGGG answers. Bwahahaha..n_n..It is already natural to me to have long answers.

At home:

This was unexpected.

Guess what? Nag-YM kami. Hahaha..n_n..Unexpected tlga yun! Ang saya ng usapan namin..kwento tungkol sa kanya, tungkol sakin, at marami pang iba. We started chatting between 5-6pm then ended at 8 or past 8 (Haba noh?). Anyway, ibang klase tlga sya ang bait-bait.

Life is simply wonderful, isn’t it?

Sayonara..n_n..

PS: If you want to know the whole story of any of the topics (particularly the church thing and home thing), usap nlng tayo! Hehehe..n_n..

Haii..

2005-08-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

Haii..buhay nga naman..ang hirap talaga..

Yeah, all I can say is a sigh. Ouch! My head still hurts because of all the exams I took, plus, my body really wants to sleep the whole day.

Finally, our examination week is over! Gosh, I’m so tired! (I’ve been actually cramming, but it isn’t only me! Also my classmates! Haii..) Anyway, almost all of the exams were difficult (especially the damn A.P. and Health test! Grr…^smoke comes out of the ears and nose^)

[Alter-ego: Hmm…funny sight!!! Hahaha…n_n..]

[Me: Oh shut up! It was really difficult!!!]

I admit the fact I really studied, but I don’t know, I guess my best isn’t good enough. I even doubt it if I can make it to the Honor List. Haii..

However, on the bright side, I got only four mistakes in our Grammar exam (That probably makes me the highest! Yehey!) and if I’m not mistaken, three wrong answers in T.H.E.!!! LOL…not bad isn’t it? Hehehe..n_n..

For the other tests, Filipino was easy although I didn’t answer one question there (Honestly, I forgot the answer. T_T). Literature, well…I’m having doubts. Probably I’ll get an 85+ (Yeah…most likely.). A.P., it’s a secret (No way! I’m not going to tell it yet.). Algebra 2, well…all I can say is I passed. Health, no way! Journalism, I somehow answered most of the questions…Biology…waaahhh!!! If I managed to perfect the Mid-Quarter Exam, did I do it in the Quarterly exams a while ago? Aaahhh!!! But no way, I already found out that I have two incorrect answers. Haii…

I really don’t know if I’ll be one of the students included in the Top 10. Haii…

Sayonara..n_n.,

PS:

- Chapter 7 of my fanfic, “Destined to Be”, has already been updated. To read and review, go to LINKS and select either the PERMANENT LINK or the EASY LINK.

Sadyang Magulo Ang Buhay [in fairness..]

2005-08-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah..sadyang magulo tlga ang buhay..khit ako n0h?!?! Yung environment kc eh..

A while ago..something happened in church..I dont want to tell the details..baka kc magkaroon ng issue eh. Honestly, I hndi ako yung tipong tao na nakikisama sa gulo..its juz not my nature and on the other side baka ako pa ang mukhang kontrabida but there are limitations. If theres an issue about me that is sooo negative and it reaches to other people [especially to him..]..iLL juz shut up..anyway there are more people who know the truth..n_n..

Anyway..ayokong ikuwento what happened a while ago..sabi ko nga ayoko magkaroon ng issue and most of all..ayoko may madamay na ibang tao..

Sayonara..n_n..

PS:
- He has relieved the tension I felt a while ago..even though I juz had a glimpse of him..tnx..n_n..
- Hehehe..kasama ako dun sa rehersal for the play/skit [whatever..] for the Youth Fellowship..Hmm..is this the launch of my acting career?Hahahahaha..joke lang..n_n..