This doesn't feel right, but this is the truth...is it?I know it isn't right to feel this 'feeling' inside, but what can I call it? I don't know. I just feel uncomfortable and uneasy whenever I think of that 'genuine smile' on my face. It doesn't seem right. Ok, visualize this:You love eating your favorite crackers. Because of this, you eat a pack almost everyday. All of a sudden, you saw a commercial about new crackers. The advertisement was so great, it made you want to buy it. So, the following grocery day, you asked your mother to buy that new crackers you saw on TV.I don't know where the heck I got that idea, but here's a much simpler example:You have a younger brother who loves playing those robot toys that make noisy sounds, walk then tumble, and can only raise its arms. After a day in school, you were surprised to see those toys scattered on the floor. Frustrated, you try to find your brother to pick up his own mess. Surprise! Surprise! You saw your younger brother playing online games in your family computer.Ok, I hope you get the idea now. Well, what I'm pointing out is that...you used to like/love this but then you shift to another in a blink of an eye. I hope I'm getting somewhere with what I'm saying.I feel terrible with all these emotions, thoughts, and others jammed inside my small frame. Haii...I definitely need help on this one.
Cheska's thoughts at 6:56 AM
Fate is cruel. You have no control of your destiny nor your life.
I don't want to be that someone. I don't want getting myself hurt again.
I've said those words because those were true. However, I feel my heart is on the line right now. I can't take those words back again.
That genuine smile is meant for only him but... it appeared when I'm with the other.
Am I being tested?
Cheska's thoughts at 4:12 AM
Hahaha..it isn't really the song. I was really on high!!! :DThird Year. Haii...nakakapanibago. Haha. Kahit kami-kami parin, naninibago parin ang ilan sa amin dahil parang di pa kami kararapat-dapat na tawagin Third Year. Well, not in a way na di talaga karapat-dapat pero pag tinawag kasi kaming ganun, parang ang tanda na namin. Haha. Ewan ko. Basta, parang ganun yung nararamdaman namin. :)30 na kami sa class!!! Haha. Siksikan kami!!! Yeah, I'm overwhelmed with the fact on how many we are. Dami kasi bago pati mga 'lumang-bago'. May tatlong baguhan - isang noypi at dalawang 'Jang Geum' (pero yung isa lalakeng-lalake, basta mga Koreans sila). Tatlo rin ang mga lumang-bago - isang girl na maaring maging kalaban ko sa Honor Roll (hehe...), isang lalake na dati ko na naging kaklase at kaibigan, and get this - ang first crush ko sa school. Hahaha.. "muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibig..." Haha.Yeah, the last was a shocker for me, because he was gone for four years. Now, he's come back...bummer. Well, I thought he was gone (for good :D) because I would have less rivals for the Honor Roll, unfortunately, things didn't go the way I planned. Haha. Bumalik na siya kung kailan meron na akong iba. Bwahahaha..I expect that this year would be the toughest. With the Honor Roll and Entrance Exams preparation on the line, it will be really tough. However, I'm stepping up to the challenge. I love challenges and nothing can't stop me from reaching my goals. :D
Cheska's thoughts at 4:35 AM
Before that......When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
...I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
...Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
Obviously, I was LSS-ed. However, I do feel that way for someone. Yeah, I miss him so much that all I can do is to pray for him. Ok, enough of beeing senti...
Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow will be the day. Tomorrow, I will finally be a Third Year student, and I do feel being old. Strange, I feel excited. I don't know. I just feel that way. Hahaha..
I hope everything will go smoothly tomorrow. I just don't want to start the year wrong. Hehehe..
Cheska's thoughts at 12:30 AM
Blame it on the changing climate..haii..Anyway, let's forget about the colds for a moment. As you all know, I was in Baguio with my family (minus my dad who was on a business trip in Indonesia). We enjoyed our stay there (except for the fact that there were sooooo many people!). One of my favorite parts of our stay was when we went to the old amphitheater or much commonly known now as the "Historical Core". Hehehe.. it doesn't have much flowers like before but it was still a sight to see.Here are a few pics from the places we visited:
Hehe.. I sure love the arch effect! :D (Ate Maricel [our helper], Me, and Bea)
My sister and I still in Botanical Garden..
Hehehe..I love this pic! :D
That's enough for today. My internet server has a huge problem. Sorry, poor lang kami eh. Dial-up lang. I'll post more pics tomorrow or sometime within the week. :)
Cheska's thoughts at 8:14 PM
My sister and I still in Botanical Garden..
Hehehe..I love this pic! :D